Goodbye Forever, My Cheating Boyfriend

For my birthday, my boyfriend bought only a few pieces of egg cake and some candles.

He said birthday cakes were a trap dreamed up by capitalist marketing, and we'd be better off saving the money for a house.

It stung, but I agreed.

Then, on the day itself, my best friend breezed in, plopped down right between the two of us, and tugged at my arm, all sweet and coaxing.

"Your boyfriend is such a keeper, spending eight thousand to help me rent a place. Getting to sleep in every morning is just the best!"

My mouth opened, but nothing came out.