Never Want to See You Again, Husband

On the day of our fifth wedding anniversary, my husband's friend leaned toward him with a grin and asked in French, "How does your little assistant taste?"

My husband, ever the considerate man in public, handed me a slice of my favorite cantaloupe before replying just as casually in the same language, "Very young. Very tender."

"Remember to keep this a secret from my wife. If she ever found out, she'd surely leave me."

The group erupted in laughter, each of them swearing they'd keep his secret.