She Chose Him, I Chose Her Ruin

On the way to pick up a client, I opened the navigation app.

Soon, the navigation system emitted a bubbly male voice, “Your thoughtful Billie is here to accompany you on your journey for two, just like eloping!"

I slammed on the brakes and hit the steering wheel, still hearing the guy's voice. “There's a small supermarket up ahead that sells cookies Billie loves. Please buy some for me!"

I froze for a moment as I was listening to the navigation voice before calling my wife to ask, “Did you use the Porsche at home?"