Chapter 3

"Baby, wake up. I made breakfast. Have some before you go back to sleep."

James always had this way of being gentle, like he could melt you with his touch, no matter how high the walls around your heart were.

"When did you get back?" I masked all my thoughts and spoke to him as usual.

"Got home at six this morning. Where’s Mrs. Turner? Did she take the day off?" He laid out my clothes and tidied the bed with care.

He followed me into the bathroom, squeezing toothpaste onto my brush while I got ready. After my shower, he was waiting with a towel to dry me off, even blow-drying my hair.

Could a man this attentive really be unfaithful? I had asked myself this question countless times.

"Mrs. Turner had some personal matters, so I gave her a six-month break."

"Should we hire another caretaker? I don’t like the idea of you being home alone." James’s eyes never left me, his gaze soft and tender, pulling me in.

But the faint scent of women's perfume lingering in the air reminded me of just how deceptive James had become.

"No need. It’s only for six months. I was thinking of traveling to Europe anyway."

"Europe? Is your health up for that? What did the doctors say yesterday?" James’s worry seemed genuine as he took my hand and kept asking.

His concern wasn’t fake. I searched his face for any signs of pretense, but I found none.

Could love be this well acted?

"The results are the same. But you know how much I’ve always wanted to see Europe—castles, scenery, it’ll do me good."

"Alright, baby. I’m sorry I can’t go with you, I’m just too busy. Take lots of photos, okay? And please, hire a caretaker to look after you." James visibly relaxed as he said this.

"Yeah, I will."

James kept talking as I quietly ate breakfast, saying little in return.

I was too scared to slip, too afraid I might blurt out the truth, afraid I’d lose the last bit of composure I had.

When I first discovered his affair, I had already thought of revenge.

Divorce? I didn’t have time for that. I wasn’t going to waste what was left of my life on something so pointless. Whether I divorced him or not didn’t change a thing. Who cares what you’re called after you’re gone?

No, the only thing I could do was ruin his reputation, make the scandal explode. That seemed to be the only power I still held.

With James, he always did most of the talking. Maybe it had to do with my upbringing—I wasn’t much of a talker, but I loved listening to him.

I never went to school, so James hired a tutor just for me. Back then, after his classes, he’d run over to my house, grade my homework, and go over my progress.

He would ramble on about everything that happened at school—who got bullied, who was annoying, who tattled on someone.

With him around, my life seemed so full.

Even now, after work, he would recount his entire day, tell me what he ate, what meetings he attended, who he met, and even send me videos and pictures.

It was this James Carson that made me believe in our love for so long.

"Baby, guess what this is?" James slid an elegantly wrapped box toward me.

"What is it? A gift?" In that moment, I forgot about his affair, instinctively reacting with curiosity, wondering what was inside.

I opened the box—it was an evening gown designed by James himself. Light green, my favorite color.

A color full of life.

I didn’t go out much, and my skin was pale. James used to say that when I wore green, I looked like a little fawn in the woods.

I put on the dress, did a simple makeup look, and called a photography team to the house to take tons of beautiful photos.

James was in some of the pictures too.

Today, James didn’t leave the house. We spent the day painting and watching movies together.

It felt like we had gone back to the way things used to be.

We had endless conversations and shared so much.

That night, after my shower, I found James waiting for me in bed.

I hesitated for a moment, thinking of what the private investigator had uncovered.

James and Lily hadn’t taken things that far yet.

Just for tonight—one last night with the man who had once loved me so deeply.

Because of my health, we hadn’t been intimate much.

But that night, James held me close, his gentle kisses falling all over me. I had always restrained myself, wanting to live longer, but tonight I indulged. It was a goodbye, a final release.

Afterward, James carefully cleaned me up, holding me as we fell asleep.

"James." I wanted to ask him about Lily.

"Hmm? What is it, baby? Are you uncomfortable? Let me massage you." His large hand rested on my lower back, gently kneading. He was so tender.

I couldn’t understand it anymore.

"James, if you don’t love me anymore, please tell me. I’ll leave without making a fuss." In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to ask him about the affair. Maybe I didn’t want to lose this last moment of tenderness.

"Anna, I love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s been over ten years, and nothing’s changed. Wherever you are, that’s where my home is. I can’t even imagine my life without you."

James held me tighter.

That night, I didn’t sleep well. The moonlight filtered through the curtains, illuminating James’s face. At 30, he still looked young, but his features were more defined than before.

Tracing the contours of his face, I mentally said goodbye to my youth.

Back when I used to read novels, whenever I came across stories of men cheating, I’d wonder how I’d react if my own husband did the same. Would I lose my mind? Would I become hysterical, unable to let go?

But in reality, from the moment I found out about James’s affair, I was calm. No anger, no drama.

It felt like all the energy had been drained out of me. All I wanted was to get away from this place.