Chapter 2

That morning, I passed out before anyone came for me. When I woke after surgery, my mother was beside the hospital bed with her coat still on.

“His mother called him when they took you into surgery,” she said. “He knew you were having your appendix out, and he still got on that train.”

“Mom. I’m fine.”

“You’re awake, Regina. That’s all you know so far.”

I remember looking down at the blanket because it was easier than looking at her.

“You know how he is about his research. Once he gets his teeth into a problem, he sees it through. It’s one of the reasons I fell for him.”

My mother reached over to straighten the blanket. I’d been awake less than five minutes, and I was already trying to make her think better of him.

I took off the sweater that still smelled of perfume. Then I went to the fridge and pulled out the dairy-free cake I’d bought for my birthday.

The woman at the bakery had asked how many forks I needed. I’d said two.

I lit the candles and blew them out before midnight. Then I ate a slice standing at the counter. I was crying by the time I finished it, but I finished it anyway.

I’d told Gordon I was going overseas. For once, I’d made a decision about my future without stopping to ask what Morris would think.

The next morning, I opened his blog again.

He’d posted at two in the morning. It was his first entry in four years.

After all this time, you’re still the only one who makes my heart race.

In the photo, Cassandra was asleep in a hospital bed. The blanket over her was mine. I’d left it in Morris’s car because I always got cold on the drive home. At the edge of the frame, Morris’s hand was cupped around the IV line where it ran across the blanket.

I recognized his watch. He used to take it off as soon as he came home so he wouldn’t have to think about the time.

He’d sat with her long enough for her to fall asleep.

I closed the page and called a cab.

At my request, Gordon had started the paperwork weeks ago. I’d wanted the option, even when I wasn’t ready to go. My work visa and residence permit had already been approved. All I had to do was bring my passport and pick them up.

I meant to stay overseas long enough to build a life there. Before I left, I’d have a lawyer draw up the divorce agreement and check how to remove my name from our joint household record with the pack registrar.

In the cab, Morris sent me a text.

I’ll be abroad for a week. A lab overseas wants to compare trial results.

I read it once and put my phone away.

I saw them through the glass as the cab pulled up outside the visa center.

Morris and Cassandra were sitting near the door, with a chair between them. Neither had a hand on the other. If I hadn’t seen how often he turned to look at her, I could have taken them for strangers waiting for their numbers to be called.

I took the long way around the chairs. They didn’t notice me stop behind them.

“Morris,” Cassandra said, “your lab’s so busy. You really don’t have to come to Finland with me.”

“I promised I’d take you to see the northern lights,” he said. “I couldn’t afford it then. I can now.”

He said it softly. I’d heard him use that voice with frightened patients at the pack clinic. I’d never heard him use it to tell me he remembered something I wanted.

“And afterward?” Cassandra asked.

“Afterward, I’ll come home and be a proper husband again. You don’t have to worry about that.”

I put a hand on the back of an empty chair. He made it sound so simple. He’d give her a week, then come home and pick up his marriage where he’d left it.

When we got married, I’d shown him a photo of the northern lights over a frozen lake in Finland. I’d even found a cabin near a stretch of forest where visiting wolves could shift without being seen.

“Look,” I’d said. “We could go there for our honeymoon.”

He’d gone still for a second. Then he handed me back my phone.

“Finland’s too far. I can’t take that much time off.”

I’d taken his arm and tried to coax him. “Just look at the cabin first.”

“I said no, Regina.” He pulled his arm away. “Pick somewhere else or we can forget the honeymoon altogether.”

I’d picked somewhere close enough for him to get back to the clinic if they needed him.

Now he’d found a whole week.

I wiped my cheeks and went to the check-in desk. If he was going to be away for a week, I could have the divorce papers drawn up and be gone by the time he got back.

It was dark by the time I collected my documents. I took a cab home with the envelope flat across my lap.

Morris and Cassandra were standing outside our building when I pulled up. She turned toward the street as if she meant to leave. He caught her by the arm, and she turned back so quickly she ended up against his chest.

They didn’t notice me at first.