Chapter 4

The girl I used to be never could have imagined things ending up like this.

Ethan grew up without much. He was always hungry as a kid.

From the time we were in elementary school, I used to split my breakfast with him every morning.

Ethan loved to talk. He would climb up on the big rock by the river and use it as his stage, while I crouched below and played audience.

Then when we were fourteen, Ethan hurt his throat.

He stopped showing up at the river. After a few days I started to panic.

I searched for him all day before I finally found him on the roof of an abandoned building.

He said he didn't want to be alive anymore.

"My voice is gone. What's the point of any of this."

I grabbed him and dragged him straight to my father, Dr. Carter.

I promised, with everything I had, that my father could fix his throat.

My father was the most respected doctor in the whole area.

Several months of treatment. countless bowls of medicinal soup.

Ethan's voice came back, exactly as it had been.

He came back afterward with money to pay for the treatment.

I shook my head and refused to take it.

That day, Ethan looked at me for a long time. There was something deep in his expression I couldn't quite name.

Finally he turned toward the sun and made a vow. He would take care of me for the rest of his life. He would never stop trusting me.

In high school, he kept that promise.

But once Rena developed feelings for Ethan, she decided I was her enemy.

Rena was a little dumber than I had given her credit for.

She didn't even bother being subtle about it.

She slipped a laxative into my drink so I'd embarrass myself in PE class.

She organized a "ugliest girl" poll with her crew and put my name at the top.

It was anonymous, but she used the notepads she'd been showing off to everyone just days before.

When Ethan found out what she'd been doing to me, he gave a small, cold laugh.

"I didn't know people this stupid still existed."

The disdain was all over his face.

But the corner of his mouth had curved up.

I didn't bother retaliating, so Rena thought she was getting away with it clean.

Until she made the mistake of posting by name on a school forum.

"My mom was really sick. I had all the money for her prescription, but Holly refused to fill it because I was one dollar short. Because of her, my mom almost didn't make it."

It was a lie full of holes. But somehow, a lot of people believed it.

I couldn't walk down the hall without hearing people call me a murderer.

Then Ethan stepped in.

He walked straight up to one of them and slapped them across the face without saying a word.

He said he believed me.

I was so moved that day. So moved I didn't notice the way his jaw had tightened, just slightly, at the corner of his mouth.

Maybe everything had been wrong from the very beginning.

Rena never let go of her hatred. Ethan never truly trusted me.

How ridiculous.

I dragged myself up and stumbled toward the bathroom.

I needed to splash some water on my face. Clear my head.

But when I looked in the mirror, I saw Rena standing behind me.

"What do you want?"

She gave me a smile. Strange. A little too pleased with herself.

"Holly, I just feel so insecure."

"I want to know — if he had to choose between us right now, who would he pick?"

I didn't follow her right away.

A second later, Rena twisted the lock on the door and set fire to the trash can.