Chapter 1

"May, I'm leaving Rowan. I'm going to join the caravans on the coast. Please reserve a place for me."

I placed the leather bag containing my travel expenses in front of her.

After four years as Rowan's partner, I finally decided to leave this territory and end the relationship.

I don't want his possessions or Luna's identity.

Mei stopped holding the pestle: "Clara, have you thought this through? You've liked him since you were little, and it wasn't easy for you to become his partner."

"I've made up my mind. I don't want to wait any longer."

She looked at me for a moment, then put down the pestle.

"My brother will set off with a caravan in twelve days. But what do you plan to do when we reach the coast?"

“The wolf pack over there has replied. They are willing to take me in, but they need a guide familiar with the mountain paths. I have my own savings.”

Mei finally accepted the leather bag: "Twelve days later, before dawn, go to the stables on the west side. I'll have him reserve a horse for you."

I nodded and put the reply into my inner pocket.

Twelve days is enough for me to hand over my duties and bid farewell to Rowan.

When Rowan returned to Stone Castle, he was looking at a border map at a long table.

Upon seeing me, he smiled and extended his hand: "You're finally back. We'll need you to plan our winter route this year."

I didn't go into his arms like I used to; I just spread a few drawings on the table.

"The mountain passes that are prone to snow accumulation and the places that can be sheltered from the wind have all been clearly marked. From now on, let your deputy lead the way. I will take him to familiarize himself with the route in the next few days."

Rowan glanced down at me, then took my hand.

"You're finally willing to take a break? That's good, you've already worried about enough for me."

His palm was warm. I curled my fingers and pulled my hand away.

He thought I just wanted to rest.

But I was already making arrangements for what would happen after I left.

Just then, a woman's voice came from the doorway.

"Rowan, you promised to go for a walk in the woods with me."

Lydia, his first love, stood by the stone steps, her cloak loosely draped over her arm.

Rowan immediately put down the map and walked towards her.

"It's windy outside, why don't you put one on?"

He took the cloak, adjusted her collar, and even softened his voice: "Tell me if you get tired, and we'll come back anytime."

I stood at the other end of the long table, watching him bend down and tighten the knot for her.

He hasn't taken care of me like this in a long time.

Rowan and I grew up in the same wolf pack. The first time he went on a night patrol alone, I secretly followed him and stayed with him until dawn.

We are not destined partners.

Four years ago, when he took over Alfa, he asked me if I would like to stay and become his partner.

I couldn't bear to miss this opportunity, so I gave up my plan to travel with the caravan and stayed by his side, becoming Luna of the wolf pack.

At that time, his long-time lover, Lydia, suddenly left him to marry another wolf pack without a word of explanation.

I knew he had loved her, but I thought that since he had chosen me, it meant he had let go of the past and was willing to move forward with me.

For the past four years, I've accompanied him on patrols along the border and helped find routes for grain transport teams when heavy snow blocked the mountains. Whenever he was too busy, I would take over.

I thought we would grow closer and closer.

But gradually, he only remembered to hold my hand when he needed me.

Until a month ago, Lydia lost her husband and came to seek refuge with a group of her people who had nowhere to spend the winter.

I vacated the house for them, distributed the food, and asked Mei to take care of the sick child.

Rowan said she had just lost her partner and needed someone to be with her.

So, our dinner could be postponed, and his promise to accompany me on the tour could be canceled. He kept making me wait time and time again, yet he always managed to find time to go see her.

I tried to explain for him, until that night two weeks ago.

He clearly told me that he was going to inspect the northern border.

I went to deliver a blanket to the new child, but I heard his voice outside Lydia's half-open door.

"Don't cry, I'm here."

She reached out and hugged his waist, tilting her face up.

Rowan cradled the back of her neck and leaned down to kiss her.

I stood frozen outside the door, the blanket in my arms crumpled into a ball. A low growl rose in my throat, but I bit my lip hard to keep it from escaping.

He coaxed her for a long time.

I can't even remember when I left.

The next day, I found the coastal map that had been hidden at the bottom of the box, and Tommy's brother sent me a letter.

Now, a reply has arrived.

I don't need to wait for Rowan anymore.

"Clara, don't wait for me for dinner."

His voice pulled me back to reality.

Lydia took his arm. He waited for my answer, his expression as usual, as if he could leave with peace of mind if I nodded.

"good."

I put away the blueprints, handed them to his deputy, and went back to my bedroom alone.

I took out the old cloak from the wooden box, the clothes from the closet, and the short bow that hadn't been used in a long time, one by one.

The jewelry Rowan gave me is still in the same place.

I packed the coastal map, my savings, and a change of clothes into my luggage.

After dark, two wolf howls echoed back and forth from the distant woods.

One of them was Rowan's.

I paused for a moment, holding the clothes, then bent down and folded them neatly.

When Rowan returned, I was tightening the belt of my bag.

"Why did you bring out the bow too? Want to go for a walk?"

"Yeah, I want to go a little further away."

He saw the coastal map next to him and reached out to ruffle my hair.

"Still thinking about that place? I'll go with you once Lydia and her people are settled."

In the past, when I heard him say that, I would ask him when he was leaving and then happily redraw the route.

This time, I simply folded the map and put it in my bag.

At night, Rowan hugged me from behind and lowered his head to kiss the side of my neck.

Lydia's scent still lingered on his collar.

My shoulders stiffened, and I took his hand and moved it away from my waist.

"Not tonight."

Rowan stopped. "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

I turned around and looked at him.

"I don't want to."

He paused for a moment.

After four years together, this is the first time I've rejected him like this.

In the past, even if I had been busy all day in the wind and snow and was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open, I would still try my best to respond if he came close to me.

I'm afraid that if I push him away once, he'll think of me even less in the future.

But that night, I didn't hold his hand again, nor did I apologize for my refusal.

Rowan looked at me for a moment and then pulled the blanket up for me.

"Then go to sleep. You've been too tired lately."

He lay back down and quickly closed his eyes.

I moved closer to the edge of the bed and listened as his breathing gradually became steady.

My luggage is at the foot of the bed. I've already paid the fare, and I also have a place to go on the coast.

Before I leave, I will tell him in person that our partnership is over.

Twelve days left.

Twelve days later, I will cross the mountain pass with the caravan, leave this stone fortress, and leave him behind.