Chapter 7

Lydia looked at me for a while, then suddenly took two steps forward.

"So, you really want to go out for a walk?"

She reached out to take my arm. I turned to the side, shielding my injured left wrist under my cloak.

Her hand froze in mid-air, then she casually withdrew it.

"I thought you would blame me for keeping Rowan occupied for too long."

"It was he who kept you."

The wariness in Lydia's eyes gradually faded.

“You have no idea how scared I was before I came back.” She lowered her head, her voice becoming soft. “My husband died, and I couldn’t live in our old home anymore. I led those people all the way north, with no idea where else I could go.”

I know all of that.

The day she arrived, I had the east courtyard opened, the empty rooms cleaned up, and food and blankets delivered according to the number of people.

At that time, I felt that now that she was back, she should at least have a place where she could sleep peacefully.

“I only wrote Rowan one letter,” Lydia continued. “He sent someone to pick me up and told me that as long as he was there, I wouldn’t have to hide anymore.”

At this point, a smile appeared on her face.

“I never dared to think I could get back the things my mother left behind. But he said that those things were important to me, so it was worth sending someone to make the trip.”

I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left wrist.

The wound under the bandage looked as if it had been torn open again.

I rested my elbows on my sides and remained silent.

Lydia, oblivious, continued recounting what he had done for her. It wasn't until the old hunting lodge on the south slope was mentioned that I looked up.

"He's going to give that place to you?"

"Yes. He said that once the roof is repaired and a stove is added before winter, people can live in it."

She glanced at me, as if afraid I would misunderstand, and quickly added, "I can't live in West Tower forever. Once I have my own place, I won't make things difficult for you anymore."

"How long does he plan to let you stay?"

He said, "As long as I'm willing."

The wind under the eaves stirred her skirt.

I suddenly remembered the night Rowan took her into the West Tower.

He said he would stay for a few days.

Now, he has already made arrangements for her for the entire winter, and even longer.

“You two used to be together,” I said, looking at her. “Now you want to go back to him, right?”

Lydia did not answer immediately.

She glanced towards the hall. Rowan was talking to a guest, and as if noticing her gaze, he looked over as well.

He smiled at her.

She then turned back and said softly, "I have never forgotten him."

My throat tightened slightly.

I knew they had a past. I knew that too when I agreed to Rowan's proposal four years ago.

But at that time, it was he who chose to come to me and propose to me as his partner.

I never asked him to pretend to love me.

“When we used to go into the forest together, even if I was the only one falling behind, he would stop and wait for me,” Lydia said. “I’m afraid of the dark, so he would walk with me on the brighter paths. I know he has you now, and I shouldn’t keep going to see him, but he always does…”

Her voice lowered.

"Clara, will you hate me?"

I looked at her.

She has moved into our West Tower, sits beside him, and has even received his promises for the days to come.

Now, she still wants a word of comfort from me.

How would you like my answer?

Lydia pursed her lips.

"If you don't want to stay here either, could you..." She paused, then finally asked, "...stop stopping us?"

I remained silent for a moment.

Did you ask me when you went to see him?

Her expression froze.

"He didn't ask me when he went to be with you."

"I did not mean that……"

"Then there's no need to ask now."

I held onto the pillar and waited for the pain in my wrist to subside.

Lydia looked at me, and after a while, the corners of her mouth slowly turned up again.

She seemed to take this as some kind of agreement.

"Thank you, Clara. I know you've always been understanding of him."

I didn't correct her.

“And the house on the south slope.” Her tone became lighter. “Rowan said you know these things best in the castle. When it comes to adding anything and finding someone to fix it, we’ll need your help to arrange it.”

I looked up.

"He promised you, go find him."

Lydia's smile finally stopped.

This time, I didn't wait for her to speak and turned to walk down the steps.

***

The coachman had already driven the carriage to the door.

I had just grabbed the car door when I heard Rowan's voice behind me.

"Clara, wait a minute."

He came over, saw that I was supporting myself with one hand, and reached out to support my elbow.

"Slow down."

I used his help to sit up and whispered my thanks.

Rowan's hand paused for a moment.

Lydia followed behind him, standing on the steps.

"Will you come back?" she asked.

“You go up first,” Rowan said. “I’ll take Clara.”

He then boarded the carriage.

I said to the driver, "Go to Mei's place."

The wheels rolled over the stone road, and the voices from inside the castle gradually faded into the distance.

Rowan took a folded blanket and placed it under my left arm.

Would this be better?

"Um."

He did not let go immediately.

He stared at me for a long time in the dimly lit carriage.

“It was my oversight tonight. I didn’t expect her to be sitting there.”

I looked at him.

He pulled out the chair for Lydia, and he held her shoulder as she stood up.

Rowan avoided my gaze and added in a low voice, "I'm just afraid of embarrassing her in front of so many people."

"I know."

He seemed to be speechless for a moment, as if blocked by those three words.

He spoke again only after the carriage rounded the stone wall.

"Once the house on the south slope is repaired, I'll let her move there. The west tower will be restored to its original state."

"You've already agreed to be with her?"

"Yes. We need to find her a stable place to live."

He paused, then softened his voice.

“You’re familiar with these things. Just give the manager a few instructions later. You don’t need to go there yourself.”

I slowly pulled my hand out of his palm.

"I won't arrange this for you."

Rowan was stunned.

"I know your hand isn't healed yet. We'll wait until you're a bit better..."

"It has nothing to do with the injury on my hand."

The carriage fell silent.

I looked at him and finished speaking.

“You promised to take care of her, so take care of her yourself. Don’t leave these things to me anymore.”

He leaned back in his seat, his brow furrowing.

After a long silence, he said in a low voice, "You're still angry."

I did not answer.

He reached out to touch my face, but in the end he only pulled my cloak tighter around me.

"Clara, you've always been my partner. That won't change just because someone comes back."

If I had heard this before, I would have asked him, "If that's the case, why can't you stay with me a little longer? Why do you always make me wait?"

Now, I only glanced out the window.

The lights were already on in Mei's cottage.

"arrive."

Rowan followed me out of the car and helped me walk down the stone steps in front of the door.

“Once she’s settled, we’ll have a proper talk,” he said softly. “If you want to go to the beach, I can go with you. Give me some time to settle things here—”

I took a key out of my pocket with my right hand.

It's the key to the West Tower's bedroom.

Here, take this back.

Rowan did not answer.

"You can keep it."

"I've moved all my things out."

His gaze shifted from the keys to my face.

"Clara, you're just going out to recuperate temporarily. You'll need it when you come back."

Mei's footsteps could be heard from inside the house.

I put the key in his palm and pulled my hand back.

"That's enough for tonight. Mei is still waiting for me to change her dressing."

The door opened, and warm light fell on my shoulders.

Rowan stood outside the door, still holding the key.

"When you come back, we'll—"

Goodnight, Rowan.

This time, I didn't wait for him to finish speaking.