Chapter 5

"Who told you to touch that?"

"Ethan said he needed the cabinet cleared out for my shoe collection. You might want to find somewhere else for your stuff, Serena."

Chelsea's eyes were full of contempt.

"You're going to pay for this." The hatred rose up so fast I couldn't contain it. I thought of that baby who never got to take a single breath. My hand came down hard across her face.

She staggered back and fell onto the floor covered in broken glass.

By the time Ethan rushed in, I was on top of Chelsea with my teeth sunk into her wrist. Blood ran down the corner of my mouth.

"Serena! Are you insane? Let go!"

"Ethan! She's going to kill me! She's going to kill me — help me, please!" Chelsea was too terrified by the look in my eyes to even scream properly. She held her voice in until she saw Ethan, and then she completely fell apart.

In the end, I bit down and didn't stop. Chelsea passed out from the pain.

I didn't pay attention to the chaos erupting around me. I just walked slowly to the cabinet and began carefully picking up what remained of the ashes scattered on the floor.

That was my first child.

Half an hour later, Chelsea's wounds were finally under control.

Only then did Ethan seem to remember I existed. He looked at me — still kneeling on the floor, still gathering ashes one by one — and his expression darkened further.

"Serena. Give me a reason."

Silence.

"Tell me why!"

Still nothing.

He grabbed the small urn from my hands. I spun around instantly, my face changing, panic breaking through.

"She destroyed our baby's ashes!"

"Ethan... that was our child..."

How could he expect me not to hate her?

Tears were running down my face. I couldn't form words anymore.

Ethan froze. The urn was still in his hand. For a moment, his expression went completely blank.

After a long pause, he slowly crouched down and placed the urn back in my hands.

"Serena... we can still have another child. You need to let yourself move forward..."

I looked down at the urn. The doctor's words came back to me. My tears fell without a sound.

Ethan. We won't have another child. Not with you. Not ever.

After that day, Ethan's attitude toward me softened. With his tacit approval, I was given more freedom than I'd had in years.

I kept writing back and forth with my past self. Ethan caught a glimpse of the letters a few times and said nothing about it. He probably assumed it was just some personal journaling habit — harmless and odd.

I told my younger self everything. Every detail of the five years that had passed.

"Ethan is going to change. He's going to stop loving you."

The last letter I received from her asked a single question:

"Why doesn't Ethan love you anymore?"

Why doesn't he love me anymore?

"That's a question you'll have to ask him yourself."

Half a month later, I went to the hospital alone for the procedure.

Just before they wheeled me through the doors, I heard urgent footsteps in the hallway, and then Ethan's voice, sharp and breathless.

"Doctor, I don't consent. I am Serena's husband — I do not consent to this procedure."

He grabbed my hand. His grip was tight, his voice running fast, with an edge of fury underneath it.

"Come home with me. We can talk about this. The baby is innocent in all of this."

He looked like he genuinely cared about the child.

But it was already too late. The baby had no heartbeat.

"Ms. Reed, a procedure like this does require a family member's signature. Is there someone who —"

"I'll sign."