Chapter 2

By daybreak, the messenger had already left the city.

I had the maid accompany Noah to breakfast and went back to the main house alone to retrieve the travel notes I had left in the study.

Marcus said he would sleep there for the time being.

But the bench was still piled with unopened letters, the fireplace was cold, and there wasn't even a blanket.

My hand, which was reaching for the notebook, stopped.

Celia's voice came through the half-open side door.

"Will I have to move out again when Elena comes back from the beach?"

That door led to our bedroom.

I took two steps closer and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing a large shirt with sleeves that almost covered her hands.

It was Marcus's.

"Why do you keep thinking about these things?"

Marcus stood in front of her and bent down to gather her disheveled long hair.

“She’s the Luna here. What am I?” Celia grabbed his hand. “Marcus, I don’t want our daughter to get used to a home and then be kicked out.”

He was silent for a moment.

Then, he leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers.

"No one will kick you out."

My breathing stopped.

Yesterday, he told me that he was just taking care of them for a while.

Now he stood before our bed, assuring another woman that she could stay.

"But what about Elena..."

“I’ll talk to her.”

Celia tilted her head back and kissed him.

Marcus did not avoid it.

He cradled the back of her head, wrapped his other arm around her, and let the kiss linger for a long time.

I hadn't been kissed like that by him in a long time.

Every time I finished my clan affairs and returned to my room, he was either already asleep or frowning and saying he was too tired, and he didn't even have the patience to listen to me for a few words.

I had always been understanding.

Defending territory is hard work, resolving disputes among clansmen is hard work, and being an Alpha is even harder.

It turned out there were times when he wasn't tired.

My fingernails dug into my palms, and I realized I was still standing outside the door.

I didn't go in.

I simply returned to the table and took my notebook.

As I passed through the corridor, two servants were carrying a new wardrobe toward the east wing. The carpenter followed behind, asking in a low voice whether they wanted the old wardrobe moved out.

The manager nodded.

"Arrange it the way Miss Celia likes. The Alpha has already given the instructions."

I stepped aside to let them pass.

No one asked me whether I wanted to stay there.

...

In the two days I waited for a reply, I took stock of my savings and packed the warm clothes Noah would need for the journey.

On the morning of the third day, Mara's letter finally arrived.

"The invitation remains valid."

"The warehouse needs someone familiar with the grain routes and able to deal with leaders from various regions. I've always wanted to give you this position."

“The seaside cottage is ready, and you and your son are welcome to come anytime. I have also spoken with the local community, so you don’t need to worry about finding a place to stay.”

I read those lines twice.

Over the years, the people who had written to me had always asked when the food would arrive, when the dispute would be resolved, and when Marcus would give them a reply.

Only she remembered that I once wanted a life of my own.

I folded the letter and put it inside my bag.

Just as I tightened the cloth strap, a burst of children's laughter came from the yard.

Noah stood by the window, having been watching for a long time.

"Mother."

He turned around, his eyes lighting up.

"Dad turned into a wolf."

I walked over.

In the center of the courtyard, a tall black wolf lowered its body, letting a little girl climb onto its back.

That was Celia's daughter, Iris Voss.

She was about the same age as Noah, and she gripped the black wolf's neck tightly with both hands. She laughed as soon as she sat down.

Marcus did not hurry her.

He waited until she had a firm grip before slowly standing up, each step he took steady.

Celia stood to the side, holding her daughter's cloak, and smiled as she reminded her not to pull the fur too hard.

The little hand beside me slowly grasped the windowsill.

Noah had also wanted his father to carry him for a short distance like this.

Once, he clung to Marcus's sleeve and asked him for a long time, only to receive one sentence in return:

"You're not a baby anymore, stop always wanting to be held."

That night, he leaned on my shoulder and whispered to himself, wondering if he was growing up too fast.

If he were a little smaller, would his father be willing to hold him?

Now, looking at the black wolf in the yard, he slowly released his grip on the windowsill.

"Mom, can I go take a look?"

I put his coat on him and led him outside.

Noah neither ran nor shouted.

He walked down the stone steps before tentatively calling out.

"Dad."

The black wolf stopped and turned around.

Noah immediately smiled and took a step forward.

Celia reached out and stopped him.

"Wait a minute, okay? It's rare to see Iris so happy."

Noah stopped in his tracks.

He looked at his father.

Marcus saw him, and he also saw the hand that had been extended and then withdrawn.

But soon, the black wolf turned around and continued carrying the girl on its back.

Noah lowered his head and twirled the hem of his clothes.

"I'll wait for her to come down."

I gripped his hand tightly.

"Noah, we can go back now."

But he gently pulled me back.

"Wait a little longer."

“Dad has already seen me.”

My chest tightened, and I didn't urge him any further.

A moment later, Iris finally slid off the wolf's back. Celia immediately went to her and wrapped her cloak around her.

Noah let go of my hand and took two steps toward his father.

"Dad, can I now—"

Celia said her daughter's hands were cold.

The black wolf lowered its head, gently nudged the girl's shoulder, and accompanied them towards the east wing.

Noah hadn't finished his sentence.

He stood there, watching the door close in front of him.

Then, he slowly hid his hands back in his sleeves.

"Mother."

His voice was very soft.

"Am I too heavy?"

I crouched down and picked him up.

He immediately wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in my shoulder.

"You're not heavy."

I held his legs firmly and tried to keep my voice steady.

"You're not heavy at all."

He didn't cry until we got back to the inn.

There was no arguing, no fussing, and he even tried his best to hold back his tears.

He was afraid that he wasn't mature enough.

He was afraid that if his father found out, he would think that he was fighting for something that should have been given up.

I stroked his back, my heart feeling as though it was being slowly squeezed.

I could accept that Marcus no longer loved me.

But what did Noah do wrong?

He didn't even ask his father to put the girl down from his back.

He just stood there, waiting for his father to turn around and look at him.

...

After dinner, Marcus finally arrived at the guesthouse.

Noah had just fallen asleep, tears still clinging to his eyelashes.

Marcus glanced into the inner room and then sat down next to me.

"He went to bed so early?"

"He's exhausted from crying today."

He frowned slightly.

"What's wrong?"

I looked at him.

"Noah was waiting for you in the yard this afternoon."

"I know."

He answered casually, reaching for the water glass on the table.

My hands, which were resting on my knees, suddenly tightened.

I wondered if he would say he hadn't seen it.

Or perhaps that he hadn't heard it clearly.

But he knew everything.

"He called you twice."

Marcus took a sip of water.

“Iris is shy and it took a lot of effort for her to get close to me. I can’t just suddenly abandon her.”

"She's already down."

My voice was very low.

"Noah was right behind you when she walked back."

Marcus put down his cup.

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

"He also wants you to stay with him for a while. Even just patting his head and telling him that you saw him."

"Just for this?"

He looked puzzled.

“Celia’s daughter just lost her father, while Noah has everything. Why do you have to compare him to her?”

I stared at that familiar face, my throat tightening.

"You think he has everything?"

"Isn't that so?"

Marcus reached out and took my hand, his tone softening.

"Don't get caught up in the child's worries. I'll spend time with him once things are settled here."

Another round of waiting.

Wait until he finished dealing with matters concerning the clan.

When he's not busy anymore.

When another woman and her child no longer need him.

Noah believed it earnestly every time, and then stayed where he was.

I slowly withdrew my hand.

"He asked me today if he was too heavy, and if that was why you didn't want to carry him."

The slight gentleness on Marcus's face finally faded.

"You should tell him that boys shouldn't be so delicate."

I stared at him without saying a word.

He seemed to have finally found the problem, and his brows furrowed even more deeply.

"Noah didn't cry this much before. Elena, did you say something to him?"

The room fell silent.

From the inner room, my son let out a soft sob in his sleep.

Marcus heard it.

He glanced into the inner room but still did not get up.

"Since you know he can't live without you, then try to persuade him."

“I won’t pay any less attention to Iris just because he cried.”