Chapter 5

Listening to the dial tone, the pain suddenly faded.

The agonizing cramps that felt like they were tearing my stomach apart seemed to disappear with that beep.

I thought, maybe this is for the best.

I really was a bad kid. Even getting sick was just me "demanding attention."

I shouldn't have done that.

I slowly put down the bloody receiver and wiped the tears from my face with my sleeve.

I looked at the long, horrifying streak of blood on the floor.

It was so dirty.

Mom loved a clean house. If she came back and saw the floor ruined, she would scream at me.

Leaning against the wall, I used the very last of my strength to crawl to the bathroom and grab a rag.

On my hands and knees, inch by inch, I wiped up every single drop of my blood until the floor was spotless.

The water in the bucket turned a deep, dark red. I poured it into the toilet and flushed it five times until the water ran clear.

Hayden's Transformers and building blocks were scattered all over the sofa.

I picked them up, piece by piece, and neatly arranged them back into his toy chest.

After doing all this, I went back to my room.

I pulled a dusty metal box from under my bed and took out a stack of crumpled bills.

It was exactly three hundred dollars.

It was the money I saved by secretly stopping my expensive cancer meds, sneaking out to hand out flyers behind their backs.

I found a clean sheet of paper and grabbed a pen.

"Mom, Dad, please don't be angry anymore."

"I secretly stopped taking my medication. Since things are already like this, and it's terminal anyway, let's not waste any more money."

"Please use this three hundred dollars to buy Hayden’s school supplies or get him some new toys."

"As long as you guys had fun at the theme park today, I am happy."

"I won't call to annoy you or ruin your mood ever again."

"I hope you are always happy."

I wrapped the money inside the letter and walked slowly to my parents' bedroom.

I carefully tucked it right under their soft pillows.

After that, I returned to my dark, tiny bedroom.

I took off the stained white dress and put on my faded school hoodie.

It was the only piece of clothing they had bought me in the last few years.

I climbed onto my hard little bed and curled up in the corner against the wall.

I pulled my knees to my chest, tucking myself into a fetal position.

Slowly, my breathing grew shallower and shallower, until my chest stopped moving entirely.

My soul felt light as it floated up, drifting to the ceiling.

I looked down at the tiny, stiff body on the bed that would never cry in pain again.

It was nice. I would never get screamed at again.

At eight in the evening, the sound of keys jingling came from the front door.

My parents, holding a giant colorful balloon for Hayden, walked into the house full of laughter.

The living room was spotless. There was no trace of blood, as if nothing had ever happened.

Mom kicked off her shoes and walked habitually to my closed bedroom door.

She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes.

"Locking yourself in your room to play dead all day! You don't even know enough to come out and get Hayden a glass of water!"

"Do I seriously have to invite you out? Get your butt out here!"

Hearing no response, her anger flared.

She grabbed the doorknob and shoved the door open violently.

The bright light from the hallway spilled into my dark room.

The room was silent. So silent that it made her heart skip a beat.

Her eyes fell upon my body on the bed.

The phone in Mom's hand slipped through her fingers, hitting the floor with a loud thud.