Chapter 1
Alpha werewolves should be cruel and merciless with unquestionable strength and authority, at least that’s what Alpha Charles Redmen believes and he doesn’t hesitate to raise his kids to be the same way.
Alpha Cole Redmen is the youngest of six born to Alpha Charles and Luna Sara Mae, leaders of the Red Fang pack. Born prematurely, he is rejected without hesitation as weak and undeserving of his very life.
By adulthood, his father’s hatred and abuse towards him has spilled over into the rest of the pack making him the scapegoat for those with the sadistic need to see him suffer. The rest are simply too afraid to even look his way leaving him little in the way of friends or family to turn to.
Alpha Demetri Black is the leader of a sanctuary pack known as Crimson Dawn. It’s been years since a wolf has made their way to his pack via the warrior’s prospect program but that doesn’t mean he’s not looking for the tell tale signs of a wolf in need of help.
Malnourished and injured upon his arrival, Cole’s anxious and overly submissive demeanor lands him in the very situation he’s desperate to avoid, in the attention of an unknown alpha.
Yet somehow through the darkness of severe illness and injury he runs into the very person he’s been desperate to find since he turned eighteen, his Luna. His one way ticket out of the hell he’s been born into.
Will Cole find the courage needed to leave his pack once and for all, to seek the love and acceptance he’s never had?
Chapter 1
Content Warning: This story contains descriptions of mental, physical and sexual abuse that may trigger sensitive readers. This book is intended for adult readers only.
Monday, January 22
(Cole’s POV)
It’s the jarring of the bus as it turns off the main road onto the gravel drive that wakes me from my slumber. It’s been a grueling twelve hour ride from my home pack, Red Fang, southwest to Crimson Dawn. I’ve heard rumors about this pack. Both from those who have visited through the warrior prospect program and just the general rumors that float around about every pack.
It’s one of the hardest packs to get into through the prospect program and a warrior from Red Fang has yet to be offered a position here. Now that I think about it, I don’t think any of our warriors have ever made it into the second run anywhere, at least not during the year and a half since my father started allowing me to attend. This makes me wonder how much of the selection process is based on skill versus the negative rumors that float around.
Crimson Dawn is said to be a strict and unforgiving pack. That, just like my own, it’s easy to find yourself laid over a desk on the receiving end of a thin leather belt. These are the only packs my father allows me to go to. The ones with the harshest reputations for killing rogues and intolerances for anyone weak or different. The rumors I’ve heard about us are no different. That every pack, within the maximum twelve hour drive, sees us as barbaric and cruel. I can’t help but agree as my father is both, at least he is towards me.
Every pack that joins the prospect program has three choices; accept warriors into their training program but don’t send any out, send warriors out to other packs but not accept any in or they do both. After five years of no one from other packs requesting to come to ours for training my father changed his status in the program so that he simply handles warriors from his own pack plus White Fang and White Moon packs. This year is the first time Crescent Moon has joined since we allied with them.
This particular run is the first time that my father has one hundred and twenty wolves between four packs participating, which means we have a full roster of twenty-four wolves, between Red Fang and our newest ally Crescent Moon, on this bus. My understanding is that membership in each costs money and it was cheaper for my father to change to simply sending warriors out then to continue waiting for warriors to come in.
I am the youngest son of Alpha Charles Redmen, the alpha and sole leader of the Red Fang pack. I am the youngest of his six kids. I was born prematurely and, unlike my twin Chloe, struggled to breathe on my own. I guess that’s where everything started. My father wanted nothing to do with a weakling like me. So I became the son he didn’t want, the son he felt was undeserving of my very life.
I yawn and slowly stretch, careful to stifle the yelps desperate to jump from my throat as the injuries from the beating I sustained Saturday night have yet to start healing. I peek outside the large window of the charter bus that had been sent to my pack to pick us up for the ride to Crimson Dawn. It’s the first time I’ve been on one so large and comfortable. To cut down on the amount of time prospects were on the road the council recently mandated that only charter buses could be used on trips over three hours so drivers only had to stop for meal breaks.
The darkness outside adds to my general unease of being away from home. I was one of the first ones on the bus, eager to get away from the place that has never been home for me yet my anxiety spikes every time I enter a new territory. I’ve been to three packs since my father caved and started allowing me out of the territory. The alpha of all three packs were similar to my own, intolerant of my medical and mental health weaknesses. I take a large assortment of medication when I’m able to get my hands on them. I look down at my hands as I feel them start to shake, silently cursing my father for preventing me from walking to Red General where I had several months of asthma and anxiety medication waiting for me. It’s been a grueling three and a half months since I ran out of the majority of my medication. I ran out just two weeks before returning early from the Red Moon pack and it’s been impossible for me to get over to the hospital to pick up more. He has gone out of his way to force me to participate in our private training sessions. At least that’s what he calls it when he talks to the rest of the pack about me.
Even as a young adult I’m subjected to his abuse, his torment. My body still aches constantly from Saturday night’s beating and I haven’t quite shaken off the concussion Andre gave me. Recently, even my oldest brother and his luna have joined in his sick game. All my life I’ve been called weak and undeserving of the alpha title. That his beatings were designed to strengthen me, to teach me how to be the brutal alpha he feels is proper and respectable. He ruined my chances of ever being an alpha when he took a whip to me on my fifteenth birthday. It will be eight years since he changed my life completely in just five more days. On Saturday I will turn twenty-three, not that it matters much. Unlike the rest of my siblings, my birth has never been celebrated.
I know that at five foot ten inches I’m on the small side for an alpha, where the average height is six foot to six foot two inches, but I am not tiny. When I’m in my best condition I’m a stocky but muscular two hundred and twenty pounds. I’ve been to three packs since I’ve started the program. All three packs sent everyone in Red Fang home after only three months and anyone that gets booted early has to wait for the next run to start. Every run is a total of six months with some prospects hopping from one pack to the next for eighteen months before returning home. To my knowledge that has never happened to a Red Fang warrior.
I steady my shaking hands by starting into my most common stim, squeezing my hands into tight fists before relaxing and doing it again. It doesn’t take long, as I absentmindedly look out the window, to develop the calming stimulation that I need to deal with my growing anxiety. Oddly, the last pack I was at, Red Moon, was the first time that I was on medication during the run. It did help with the initial meeting and testing but it wasn’t enough to keep my nightmares away.
The full moon is a blessing as it illuminates the dense forest that borders the long drive into the Crimson Dawn territory. My wolf whines lightly in my head as my peaceful beast has never had the true ability to simply run through the forest as other wolves have. We found out the hard way that I will never be a “normal” werewolf. My father’s hesitance to allow me to join the program makes me wonder if he’s discovered my biggest secret, one that I want no one to know. That the whipping eight years ago permanently damaged the nerves in my lower back, making it impossible for me to shift safely. This has resulted in me doing everything in my own power to keep everyone, both my packmates and anyone involved in the program, from finding out that I’m a non-shifter.
Normally non-shifters are werewolves who are born without their wolves. True non-shifters are quite common in the omega and gamma ranks with about fifty percent of the omega rank being affected. It is extremely rare, only around five percent, to find a non-shifter in the alpha rank and even those that are found tend to be in a similar situation as me, with permanent damage that keeps their shift from being safe.
Their ability to inherit and retain the werewolf’s super fast healing depends on when their injury happens. If it happened before their first shift then their ability to heal remains in a child-like phase. While werewolf pups still heal quickly compared to humans or hi-brids, it still takes four weeks for a pup to heal the same injury that takes an adult only one. Which is the situation I’m in, when in good condition it takes about four weeks for me to heal a broken bone. No matter the circumstances, a non-shifter cannot be a warrior as a non-shifter is just as vulnerable to being easily killed in battle as a pregnant she-wolf or a pup. Fortunately my end goal is not to become a warrior.
Chapter 2
My desire is to gain two things and two things alone. I’m using what little training I receive from each pack and creating it into my own self-defense. Since all training is geared towards the shifting wolf I have to modify it to fit my needs but I’m a fast learner and very creative. It’s in this way that I intend to formulate a means of defending myself strictly in my human form. My second goal is finding my mate. The one and only she-wolf that the Moon Goddess has created just for me, my other half.
I started asking my father about the prospect program when I was eighteen, the youngest that you can be accepted into the program. My plan was to use the program to find my mate. It’s a common method used to get into other alphas’ territories which is usually the best way to find her. My plan, once I found her, is to join her pack if she has a decent alpha, or to run away to the human’s world and live peacefully among them.
He gave me a hard time and several beatings before he caved. I was just shy of my twenty-first birthday when he finally submitted the application to the council. I was accepted into my first run, the Blue mountain pack about six hours south of Whitefield, New Hampshire six months later.
Soon the dense forest thins out revealing a massive complex much bigger than all the packs I’ve been to so far. The pack house is easily identifiable, as it’s always the first building anyone entering the territory by car will see. The complex is well lit giving it the appearance of a small city illuminating the pack house against the moonlit sky.
The pack house is four stories high with what appears to be a massive ground floor. It’s completely white with large white pillars in the front behind a small set of stairs. Large, french style double doors are centered between bay windows with smaller double windows beside them. As the bus continues its trek through the complex I’m able to catch a glimpse of the backside of the house, it extends back nearly twice as far as it is wide.
I look briefly at my watch and shake my head in silence. I knew today would be a long day as my father only signs me up for the packs that are farthest away but I certainly wasn’t expecting it to be nearly nine at night. Even with the early sunsets of late January I wasn’t expecting it to be quite this dark, it didn’t help that the bus got a late start. With fourteen of the twenty-four prospects being brand new to the program and on their first trip out, they were either late getting to the bus or packed more than the bus could carry.
Even though I find it overwhelming to meet new alphas, betas and deltas it doesn’t compare to the gut wrenching, stomach churning anxiety I experience when I find myself returning home. My only friend Jamie once asked me what I would do if I were given the opportunity to stay away from home. I have frequently pondered that question for over a year but still have no answer.
All I know is that years ago I vowed to find my mate and as long as she is residing in a pack better than mine, I would move in with her. If her pack honors the old tradition of the mate’s claiming ceremony, I will request to have one as it’s the only way I know I can rid myself of the Redmen name. I will take hers instead. Neither she nor my children, if my father hasn’t ruined that for me too, will ever experience the hell that I have lived. They will never know my side of the family as they might as well be dead to me. It’s already been made very clear that I am nothing to them so ridding myself of them permanently shouldn’t make a big difference.
It’s the squealing brakes of the bus that pulls me from my thoughts as it comes to a stop in front of a large apartment complex. Based on my previous trips with the prospect program it’s easy for me to guess that this complex, less than a quarter mile west of the pack house, is the prospect’s dormitory. I’m immediately impressed as the grandeur of the apartment complex is equal to that of the pack house, peaking my interest in how the rest of the pack lives. I can easily make out three large, three story buildings. The interior lights of only one building, the one the bus parked in front of is lit. It too, has a double door entrance but instead of french doors they are glass and appear to be motion activated. There are also tons of windows exposing it to lots of natural light and air. The two upper floors have balconies while the ground floor has a small concrete patio. All of them have two outdoor chairs set off to the side.
As I continue my watch out the window my attention is soon drawn to several figures exiting the dormitory and heading towards the bus. It’s only a few seconds later that the door to the bus opens and half the prospects stand, preparing to disembark. The driver holds out his hand, halting everyone's movements before bowing slightly at the neck towards the young man that boards the bus.
“Please, take a seat. It’s going to be a few minutes before you start getting off.”
Dallas, a delta from my pack, doesn’t seem to take the young man seriously and remains standing while all the first timers sit back down. It’s easy to see why Dallas has an issue with his authority.
He looks young, too young to actually be in the program, let alone to lead it. He’s a tall, stocky, fair skinned young male with straight, ink black hair and bright sky blue eyes. A striking combination that I haven’t encountered before. Despite the respectful bow he received from the driver telling me he’s of a higher rank, he’s down on one knee while speaking quietly to the driver. I watch their interaction closely as the driver seems to be keeping eye contact with this young man, something I don’t see back home.
It only takes a moment for Dallas to leave his seat and start down the aisle, acting as if he’s going to push his way by the man speaking to the driver. The young man stands to face the group just as Dallas stops in front of him.
“Please head back to your seat and wait until instructions have been given.”
“Who are you to be ordering us around? We are grown warriors here and you’re nothing more than a pup.”
Now that Dallas is standing close to this upper ranked wolf I have the ability to compare his size. He easily has two to three inches in height on Dallas, who is approximately five foot nine inches, making him at least six foot tall and his young appearance indicates that he’s not done growing. His eyes flash black as his wolf briefly makes an appearance and his aura grows.
“Head back to your seat and wait for instructions.”
He growls out the directive, this time leaving no room for doubt that he’s an alpha. Fortunately, Dallas relents his hardheadedness and starts back to his seat as the driver stands and exits the bus. Seconds later I can hear the under bus storage being opened and conversation between multiple people have started.
“Welcome to Crimson Dawn.” The young man calls our attention back to him.
“I am Alpha Damian Black, son of Alpha Demetri Black, leader of this pack. I will be one of several trainers you will be interacting with during your stay here. Alpha Dominic Cullen is another.”
Alpha Damian has started walking slowly towards the back of the bus as the footsteps of another is heard climbing aboard. A second young man appears at the front of the bus, standing calmly next to the driver’s seat. He appears older, of an appropriate age to be a prospect if he wanted to be. His physical appearance is almost opposite of Alpha Black though much more common. He appears to be of a similar height to the first alpha but sports a buzz cut dirty blond hair with dark brown eyes.
My anxiety is growing at an alarming rate as none of the previous packs had alphas greeting us as soon as we arrived. I can feel my eyes starting to dart around, looking for a quick exit that I know doesn’t exist while sitting on the bus. I’m finding it hard to focus on either one of these two alphas. Knowing that they are both alphas has me on edge as I struggle to keep the thoughts of them punishing me at bay.
Chapter 3
“Since it’s late and I’m certain you’re all tired from such a long trip, I will save the majority of the details of our rules and expectations for Monday’s orientation. All prospects are given the same general introduction to our pack before they get off the bus. The time and location of the orientation meeting will be announced Friday evening once we are certain that all five buses have arrived. I believe that my father will be running three different meetings due to the larger than normal response to this run. My father will be the primary speaker but myself, Alpha Dominic, Alpha Lucas, Beta Patrick and Beta Parker will also be there to cover anything that my father misses as well as to answer any questions you may have.
All of us will have some involvement with you during your training here at Crimson Dawn. As I am certain you have already heard, we are a strict and when needed, unforgiving pack and we do implement physical punishment in accordance with council laws.
If you are caught in the act of raping or assaulting anyone; male or female, a member of your pack or a non-pack member, be prepared to present your bare ass to my father in his office where he has a leather belt waiting with your name on it. The penalty for rape or assault starts at ten full strength hits but he is allowed up to half your age. I can assure you from personal experience you will not sit comfortably for a few days afterwards. For those of you who can’t do math, and you will be tested on your level of education, that means if you’re twenty-four years old you can receive up to twelve full strength hits to your bare skin before you are sent home and a report filed with the council. Odd numbered ages receive the lower amount.
We also have a zero tolerance policy for fighting, stealing, unauthorized drug use, and alcohol abuse. Only prescription drugs that we are notified of this week before your physical or those disclosed in your prospect application will be tolerated. If you test positive for any drug that you have not disclosed to us or drugs that are purely recreational in nature, you will be sent home and a report filed with the council.
Stealing and fighting that is not directly witnessed by a credible source will be penalized until an investigation is completed. If the investigation shows that you stole something you will be sent home and a report filed. Fighting is the same as assault. The only difference is if we don’t witness who started it all parties involved will receive the same penalty until we find out who did. The aggressor of the fight will be sent home and a report filed.
For those of you who are twenty-one or older, limited alcohol consumption is allowed on Friday and Saturday nights. However, we will not tolerate anyone getting shitfaced drunk. This is the only intolerance that we have a three strikes rule on. Your first offense will earn you a full lap around the fifty mile perimeter of our territory, second offense is a week on house arrest and your third offense will get you sent home and reported to the council. We expect you to know your limit or don’t drink at all. Underaged drinking will get you sent home on the first offense and don’t try to lie. It takes less than ten minutes to verify your age.
Both blood and urine will be collected during next week's physical. We will be testing for everything. Drugs, sexually transmitted infections, nutritional deficiencies and organ enzyme levels just to name a few. It is important to keep in mind that random urinalysis for drugs is permitted so do not think that you’re going to stop using just long enough to get through the initial drug screen then you can start again.
We are already a large pack compared to most of those bringing prospects in so our standards have been set high for prospects to be invited to a second run. Only thirty wolves from all three runs will get invited back for the second run and our expectations are even higher during that run for you to get offered a position here.
If you have not disclosed to the council prescription medication that you are on or if you have recently been placed on long term medication, you need to request a private meeting with my father. Bring with you all medications that you are on so he can record the type, dosage and doctor that has prescribed it. Also be prepared to discuss why you are on the medication. It is important that you disclose this information so that we can maintain you on the medication you have already been prescribed.
All of you are warrior prospects, training while you are here is your job. You will be tested mentally and physically so we can put you into groups appropriate for your skill level. You will have physical training, eight hours a day in various disciplines Monday thru Thursday and you will have a mix, four hours of physical training and four hours in the classroom, on Friday. Training happens mostly outdoors no matter the weather so dress in layers appropriately. Saturday and Sunday are your days off which is why we will allow light drinking on Friday and Saturday nights as there is to be no alcohol in your system when you report to training on Monday.
Dominic and I will be giving you your room assignment before you leave the bus to collect your belongings. There are twenty rooms per floor, ten on the east side and ten on the west, so four of you will be randomly assigned rooms on the second floor. No one will be bunking together. Each room is an efficiency apartment complete with a full bath, small apartment sized refrigerator and medium sized microwave. First floor apartments have a stacked washer and dryer while the second and third floor ones have a large laundry room located on the southern end of the building. When using the communal laundry room you are expected to know what is yours. Taking someone else’s clothing is stealing and will not be tolerated. Forcing your way into another wolf’s room also will not be tolerated.
Each floor has two closets that you can get everyday supplies from. There are two sets of stairs. One on the east side of the building the other is on the west. Both are on the north end. The closet containing basic cleaning supplies and a variety of laundry detergents and conditioners is located in the room in front of the eastern stairs. The room on the western side contains personal hygiene products as well as bottled water and shelf stable food and snacks that you can take back to your room. The closets are stocked every Saturday and once again, please be adults and do not hoard items from the closets. There will be a total of sixty wolves living in this building by Wednesday.
Second and third floor recreational areas have a television. Second floor has an xbox hooked up to it, the third floor has a PS4. Failure to share the game systems will result in the games being taken away. We took them away during the last run we had so don’t think that it won’t happen as it will. Air hockey and foosball tables are on the second floor and a full size pool table is on the third.
You are all adults and we expect you to act that way. With that being said, disagreements happen, especially when multiple packs are housed together. However, fist fighting is assault and will not be tolerated. If fist fighting is the only way you feel a disagreement can be settled then you are to report it. Your best contacts are going to be myself, Dominic, Lucas, Patrick, or Parker. You can take the matter straight to my dad if you feel the need, he has an open door policy. You will not be penalized for anything you bring to us. If by the time you make the report you still want to fight, then we will arrange a sparring match for the next day. A controlled one on one fight, without shifting, until one party submits with no major injuries. As I said earlier, assault will earn you a one way ticket out of our territory.”
Chapter 4
“Sex is allowed, although I don’t smell any she-wolves on this bus so at least for this first night I don’t think that’s going to be much of an issue. Sex is to be protected at all times no matter if she claims to be on the pill or not. A variety of condoms will be stocked in the personal hygiene closets in buildings A and B. Building C is reserved for the female warriors and personal hygiene products are changed accordingly. You will be interviewed about all sexual interactions you’ve had before coming here and notified of any positive tests that come from the STI testing. We will treat any treatable diseases detected during testing.
We know it’s common for males to use this program to find their fated mates. It is also common for relationships outside of fated mates to occur. While relationships are frowned upon by the council during temporary stays at a pack, we have yet to have a group that hasn’t had multiple wolves in relationships by the time they leave. We simply ask that you keep public displays of affection chaste and to a minimum. We do have very young wolves in this pack. Two of those young wolves are my four year old sisters. I will not be pleased if one of them were to come across one of you engaging in a make-out session, hard foreplay or actual sex.
All sexual activity shall be performed in your room, penalties will be given to those who don’t comply. You are expected to remain focused on your training. If you are in a relationship that impairs that focus please alert us to it so we can accommodate you better. We want to see the best side of you that you can present.
Do not present us with false claims of theft, rape or assault as all accusations are thoroughly investigated and if we find a false claim was made with malice, you will be sent home. Bullying is not tolerated and will be promptly penalized. Cigarette smoking is not permitted indoors. If you are a smoker, please approach Dominic or myself about a third floor room. These are the only rooms set up with a butt can outside on the balcony. Improper disposal of your butts will revoke your smoking privilege.
Monday through Friday, you are expected to be up, showered and dressed appropriately for training outside of the dining hall by 7am which is when my father will start morning announcements. Training will start promptly at 8am, penalties will be given to those who are more than five minutes late and those who abuse the five minute allowance. We will stop training at eleven thirty to give you time to make it to the dining hall for lunch at twelve. Training resumes at one and will end at five thirty. Dinner is at six.
We do extensive testing the first four weeks that you are here, your actual training will start once everyone has been tested for strength, endurance, problem solving and morality skills and divided into the appropriate classes for each area. Dominic and I will assist you with keeping the schedule during this first week. I strongly advise you to use any free time you have to get to know the area. You will need to know how to get to the dining hall and the various training areas on your own by next Monday.
Our territory is larger than most and it’s important that you don’t get lost. Anyone without a cell phone should meet with one of the trainers privately so we can get you one. Everyone else, the phone numbers to every person you will interact with regularly, including the Alpha and Luna of the pack, are posted on the white board just inside the dormitory. We ask that you at least program my father’s number into your phone but having everyone’s number will provide you the best chances of reaching someone.
Any common issues that we see will be addressed during morning announcements, any schedule changes for the next day will be announced before dinner. You are not required to stay at the dining hall to eat and you don’t have to report to the dining hall during lunch but the kitchen staff will start cleaning up forty-five minutes after the start of each meal. Lastly, I do apologize as that simple introduction to our pack went way longer than I had anticipated.” He finishes with a smile.
Long before he had finished covering what most wolves would want to know the first night in a new territory, he and Alpha Cullen had handed out the keys to each of our rooms. They started together in the center and worked their way out, returning to their original positions. I have always chosen the seat furthest away from the door as it’s the shortest distance I have to walk to the bathroom.
I’m the last one to receive a key and frown as the card attached to it reads 205A. Looks like I’m on the second floor. Alpha Black is now standing a foot behind me after he’s given me my key. Alpha Cullen has exited the bus prompting the majority of the eager warriors to stand and follow after him. I have always stayed behind as crowding others to get off the bus has never been my style, plus it gives my nerves a little time to decompress before I’m required to function like there is nothing wrong with me.
“One more thing,” Alpha Black interrupts the crowd fighting to get off the bus. “Since we knew you would be arriving late we had the kitchen crew set up a variety of cold cuts and drinks in the entrance hall. You’re welcome to sit and chat with each other or grab a plate full and head to your room.”
He smiles with a nod as two dozen male wolves work on exiting the bus and gathering their things from underneath. Although this is the most comfortable bus I’ve ever traveled on, my injuries have made me incredibly stiff and slow at getting started.
“Hey there, what’s your name?”
I look up, somewhat startled as I’ve never been addressed before getting off the bus. I make eye contact with the young alpha before quickly looking away, head and eyes trained to the floor of the bus. Over the years my father has made me extremely submissive for an alpha.
“Hey, you haven’t done anything wrong. I just wanted to know your name.” He speaks casually with a slight chuckle in his voice.
“I’m sorry Alpha Black. My name is Cole.”
He hangs his head, slowly shaking it back and forth.
“Did I say something wrong?” I ask, already worried that I’m screwing up.
“No, not at all.” He responds with a broad smile on his face. “It’s just the first time anyone has bothered to call me Alpha Black.”
“Is there something else you would prefer to be called?”
I’m failing miserably at steadying my trembling voice and my nervousness has worsened my grasping tic. He places his hand on mine causing me to jump and make eye contact with him. Before I can look away he stops me.
“Keep it, Cole. Eye contact is acceptable here. The only time we expect submission is when you’re being disciplined. Considering you’re from Red Fang I know that we tend to have a lot of trouble with prospects from that pack but something tells me you’re different. Don’t be afraid of us, just be yourself. We are strict but fair and if you stay the full six months you have a chance at the second run. Are you new to this? How old are you?”
“I’m not new. New locations, schedules and people tend to make me nervous until I get used to everything. I’ll be twenty-three Saturday.”
“You're young but older than me.” He says with a smile. “Alpha Damian, okay. Alpha Black just sounds too much like talking to my father.”
I nod my head and offer him a shy smile as I look away.
“Hey,” he says, reaching his hand out to me. I timidly take his hand as he pulls me from my seat. “It’s been a long ride. Let’s get you settled in and something to eat.”
I take a deep breath as he motions towards the front of the bus. I head that direction, taking my time on the stairs. I take a few steps away from the bus once I’m on the ground making sure Alpha Damian has enough room to get off. I look around to see that all the luggage put in storage under the bus has been pulled out and placed on the ground. I immediately spot Taylor and Tyler, fraternal twins, already coming to blows over their luggage. I was surprised when Alpha Damian excused himself from me to break the twins up. I’ve never been important enough for anyone in the higher chain of my pack to be polite.
Chapter 5
I watch silently as the young alpha grabs both of their necks, one in each hand and pulls them apart while in a booming Alpha voice commands; “Submit!”
Both of them struggle but eventually fall to their knees, growling loudly at one another.
“I just told you no fist fighting and no sooner than you get off the bus you're coming to blows, over what?”
“He’s taking my bag!”
“No I’m not! Your bag is over there!”
I can’t help but facepalm myself as I listen to them argue. No fighting, no drugs, no raping and no shit faced drunks. Sounds like a pack that just wants you to be responsible, reasonable and take care of one another. Here are the two youngest warriors who qualify for the program and they act like mere children.
I walk over to the matching pack to the one they’re squabbling over and kneel down beside it. I go over it with a fine tooth comb finally locating a tag with the name Taylor on it. I sigh and shake my head as I pick up the pack and walk over to the twins. I stand silently until they stop arguing and notice that I’m there.
“What the hell do you want!” Taylor yells as he tightens his grip on the pack he’s holding.
“I would think at eighteen years old you would be mature enough to check the tag on the bag before arguing over it. Plus you’re twins. I thought everything you owned matched.”
My voice is quiet and submissive in nature. I’ve learned the hard way how to talk without ruffling the feathers of anyone as dad has used any report of disrespect as a logical reason to have me brought to his office so he could beat me as a child, the training center after I broke his desk four years ago.
I reach down to the tag on the bag I am holding and flip it in my hand exposing the name on the tag before looking at Taylor with my head cocked slightly. He lets out a final growl before tossing the bag he’s holding hard into Tyler’s chest. Alpha Damian lets them both go, stepping back as they stand.
Taylor approaches me quickly, snatching his bag from my hand before going towards the pile of luggage I had picked it from. I sigh lightly as I look among the luggage looking for my second backpack and my duffel bag. Unfortunately I don’t spot them quickly enough and someone else has grabbed at least one of them.
I start looking around for sources of water. I’ve been going around to different packs in the warrior program with two of the same prospects for the last eighteen months so I know their games now. It’s only after the bus pulls away that I spot my duffel bag and all its contents spread out in the mud. I sigh and run my hand through my chocolate brown hair, disappointed in myself. I’d win money betting on the idea that the twins were used as a distraction to me.
I walk slowly towards the water, testing the area to see how deep the water is as I don’t think I can handle the pain from the numerous cuts and burns all over my body getting wet, especially the large blister that is wrapped around my left thigh.
I can’t see the rest of the group but I can tell that two more of them are arguing over luggage. Fairly simple rules to follow but Red Fang is such a brutal pack that’s how everyone lives, by fighting for everything you have. Alpha Damian submits them out shortly before hearing another, booming voice. Powerful and unmistakably the lead alpha. I stop on the edge of the water as it seems to be deeper than what I expected for the distance that my stuff was thrown.
“That’s enough! For all the years I’ve been working with Red Fang, never have I encountered a group so keen on bickering with one another over something as simple as luggage! Especially since everything is labeled with first and last name before being placed on my bus. Now, everyone, get in a single line shoulder to shoulder! Damian!”
“Yes father.”
I’m surprised at how calm he is considering his father’s yelling.
“Help the young man over by the pseudo pond. Never have I seen such disrespect for a pack member as that.”
“Yes sir.”
I stop in my tracks only a few feet from the edge of the water. The alpha is sending his own son over to help me? I’m shocked and confused with their kindness towards a complete stranger in their territory. I’ve heard stories of how rogues have never been seen again after entering their territory. How Crimson Dawn is as brutal as they come. Yet I’ve seen more care and kindness in the thirty minutes that I’ve been here than any other pack I’ve been to so far. Maybe I won’t have to go rogue. Maybe I could come here instead. They seem nice.
“Hey. Cole, right?” Damian speaks while touching my arm, bringing me quickly from my thoughts.
“Yes, sir.” I manage to barely get out. I’ve had a hard time even speaking to upper level wolves since I was a young child. It has always been easier just to stay quiet.
“Let’s see about retrieving your stuff, shall we?” I nod my head lightly.
“Yes, thank you.”
We walk back over to the pond. I shiver slightly as the wind starts blowing lightly. Even though I’m from an area with regular snow in the winter I’ve chilled easily ever since the whipping.
Just as I was getting ready to step into the water Alpha Damian grabs me causing me to startle badly enough to yelp. I cringe at my own failure to stifle my yelp, cursing my anxiety for getting so bad so quickly. Alpha Damian freezes as silence falls across the land.
“Are you okay?” I nod as I start to stutter.
“I-I’m okay. N-new places just make me an-anxious. I-I’m sorry.”
Just as I finish struggling with such a simple answer the rest of the pack burst out laughing. I can clearly hear the twins jeering at me.
“The alpha’s son is such a baby.”
I clench my fist and stifle a growl as Alpha Damian starts talking again.
“You look like you’re already getting cold so...” he slows down talking as he kicks off his shoes and removes his socks and pants. “I’m going to go get your bag and anything near it, bring it back here to you, then go back out and toss the rest to you. It usually snows more than it rains in the winter but so far this winter has been mild. It’s rained hard for the last week and this is a low spot near the training grounds. Anything that has sunk to the bottom that I don’t feel will turn up once the water dries up. I’ll make sure it gets back to you once we find it.”
As he finishes speaking he’s already waded out to my duffle bag. I usually only bring it and two backpacks. My most important items are always in the pack that I keep with me. It’s as Alpha Damian is bringing my bag back with a handful of my clothing that the pack starts laughing resulting in the alpha’s booming voice again.
“Silence! Since a lot of you can’t seem to act much more than children, that's exactly how I’m going to treat you. Stand still in the line. Do not move or speak unless your name is called. Everyone in front of me, pull out the key to the room you were just given. Patrick, collect the keys. Dominic and Lucas.”
“Yes sir.”
I hear in unison as I catch two more wet balls of clothes coming my way.
“Dominic, do you have the keys to the third floor?”
I cock my head as I hear Alpha Damian choke on a laugh.
“Yes sir.”
“Give half of the keys to Lucas. Now, since you can’t be grown ups about collecting your things on your own and are so keen on destroying another pack member’s things my beta, Patrick, is going to grab a bag and call the name on the tag. Raise your hand and say here when you hear your name and Patrick will hand your bag to either Alpha Dominic or Alpha Lucas. One of them will hand you a key to your new room on the third floor. There is an elevator but it is only used by housekeeping to stock the supply closets and during medical emergencies. The stairs are indoors on the north end of the building.”
“This is the last that I can actually see floating on the surface.” Damian says as he throws the last of my clothes to me. “We’ll have to check again in the morning. We might even find anything that sank once the sun comes out.”
I nod lightly as I ring the water out of the clothes in my hands and toss them in my bag. I kneel to close it up just to hear Tyler start running his mouth again.
Chapter 6
“If everyone here is being punished with a third floor room then Cole should get one too. He’s one of us.”
“Oh, is he?”
I freeze in shock at his attitude. I stand slowly with my bag in my hand watching and listening to the alpha’s next moves. It was common for the lead alpha to treat a visiting pack as a single unit instead of trying to figure out the good prospects from the bad.
“And what exactly would make me think he’s one of you?” He asks surprisingly slowly and deliberately, waiting for someone to answer.
“He’s the alpha’s son. Of course he’s a member of Red Fang.” Dallas, one of the other troublemakers, responds.
“Who his father is doesn’t automatically make him one of you. Never, in all the years I’ve been in this program, have I seen a member of a pack treated with such demeaning, humiliating disrespect. To purposely degrade not just another wolf but a wolf you likely grew up with by attempting to destroy his belongings is NOT treating him as one of you. So, since all of you are so keen to show me your rejection of him so early in your stay here, I think it would be smart of me to do the same.”
My breath gets stuck in my chest as I have no understanding of what he’s about to do. Am I about to be rejected from the program? I’ve been told many times that if you get rejected from a pack’s warrior program in the first week of arriving on their territory that it’s an automatic rejection from the program. That the council will not approve of any other requests to go on another run.
I feel Damian’s hand on mine as he takes the heavy duffel bag filled with wet clothes from my hand.
“Come on. Let’s get closer so we know what’s going on.”
I’m a bundle of nerves now and I can’t hide the tremors in my hands or the fear in my eyes. Damian stops and studies me briefly before whispering.
“Cole, what’s going on?”
My eyes meet his as I whisper as well.
“I’m not ready to leave. I just got away from there.”
“My father wouldn’t do that. You’ve done nothing wrong. Just stay with me, you’re doing fine. You seem to get very anxious very easily. Do you take meds to help you with that?”
As much as I didn’t want to admit that I’m a nervous wreck when I’m in the attention of anyone higher than a gamma, I don’t want to lie to the alpha’s son either. At least, not a complete lie.
“I usually take several medications to ease my social anxiety and ocd. Xanax if things get really bad during the day, I’ll take that at night.”
“Obviously you're not on it now, why?”
“Drug test. I didn’t want you thinking I was a nut job when it showed up.”
Alpha Damian shakes his head with a slight chuckle.
“All you had to do was tell us. It’s right in the application.”
I shake my head while keeping pace walking with Alpha Damian heading back to the rest of the group.
“My dad is extremely controlling as to what packs I go to for training. He’s the one that fills out the application each time and submits it to the council. He knows I’m on medication but insists that I stay off them. Dr. Carter makes arrangements at Red General to make sure I can get the medication but I can’t always get there so my ability to take it is inconsistent.”
Alpha Damian stops in his tracks forcing me to stop as he turns to face me. He looks me in the eyes to which I look away, down to the ground.
“Talk to my dad, Cole. If you know what you were on he can get you back on it.”
He starts walking again after I nod my head. He motions for me to head off to the side of the rest of the group, standing with me so I’m not alone.
I watch silently as one of the men accompanying alpha picks up a bag. I immediately recognize it as mine. I sigh in relief that they didn’t find that one too.
“Cole Redmen,” the wolf calls out.
“Here.” I call back as I wave my hand lightly.
I see the one holding the bag hand it to another who starts over towards me with a key in his hand.
“Lucas.”
He stops before he even gets two feet from the alpha.
“I’m going to take care of him and his room assignment personally. I’ll take his pack until we’re done.”
He looks my way before he speaks again.
“Cole Redmen?”
He seems to question looking for verification. I nod my head in response.
“Do you have any more?”
“No sir,” I speak as I shake my head.
He gives me a nod as the wolf by the luggage calls out another name. He hands the pack off to Alpha Cullen. The luggage is placed at the feet of Dallas as he is handed a new key. The process is repeated until every piece of luggage brought is with their owner prompting Alpha to speak again.
“Normally I treat every prospect that comes into my program as an individual. Now, I will continue to do that with the major rules that I have no tolerance for. We are a very simple pack to get along with as long as you don’t steal, fight, rape, do drugs or get shit faced drunk. With that being said, from here on out I will be watching all of you very closely as you have not made a good first impression and I feel that you’re going to be trouble. For minor infractions, if one of you does it all of you will receive discipline for it.”
“Is that why we’re now on the third floor?” Dallas interrupts in disgust.
“Absolutely, Dallas. The first floor rooms have perks. So we try to fill those first. Since my son has had to break up two fights amongst yourselves already, the entire group will be sacrificing those perks and moving to the third floor. Any additional complaints over the consequences you have brought upon yourselves will be met with additional penalties.”
“What about Cole? He’s the alpha’s son. He’s one of us.”
Tyler tries again to get me sucked into their consequences.
“As I said earlier. Since everyone here is so keen on rejecting Cole from the pack it wouldn’t be proper, as the lead alpha of this territory, to treat him as a member of your pack. For the duration of his stay here Cole will be recognized as a member of the Red Fang pack...”
I can see the smiles spreading across all of my pack members' faces as he spoke.
“But that will be for the sole purpose of documenting and reporting back to the council. I prefer to treat everyone as an individual and that is what I will be doing with Cole. Any benefits or penalties that he receives will be between him and the one giving it out, thus it will be none of anyone else’s business to know.”
I’ve never seen faces of shock happen as quickly as it did when he finished his decision about me.
“Only half of the twenty-four wolves here are actually from the Red Fang pack. The rest of us are from the Crescent Moon pack. Why are we getting sucked into Red Fang’s consequences?”
“While I do apologize for the inconvenience that it’s causing, I was only alerted a few minutes ago that the Crescent Moon pack was unable to complete their registration in time to attend this run so Alpha Redman filed all of the applications with the council in a way that lumped all of you together as a single pack. It is quite common for packs in close contact with each other to band together for the purpose of the program especially if they have only a small number of wolves attending the run from each pack. It will take me some time to work out who is from which pack so I am going to ask for your patience with that.”
I can’t help but cock my head, studying the alpha as he approaches me. Instinctively, I take a step back when he stops within a foot of me, quickly averting my eyes away from his.
“Relax. I mean what I said.”
I nod slightly but keep my head and eyes down in submission. Without warning I feel his hand on my chin. Without thinking I overreact to the alpha’s touch, fighting to get away from him. Very quickly his hands have both my wrists and he’s pressed them against my chest. I can hear the rest of the prospects laughing and jeering at me.
“Alpha’s son is such a baby, so weak he’s afraid of the alpha.”
“Enough! I do not tolerate bullying of any sort!”
I can’t help but cringe away from his booming voice with the alpha aura. Even with his strong aura still present he manages to lower his voice to a more comfortable level when he speaks directly to me.
“Though it does seem that you are very much afraid of me as this is a very strong reaction. I’ll let go when you relax and show me control.”
Chapter 7
It’s a struggle for me to stop my fight as my panic has taken over. I close my eyes in an effort to concentrate on my breathing. My chest is tight and my breath is coming out short and fast. I fight to get out of his hold as I hear another approach.
“Everything okay dad?”
The voice is much deeper than Alpha Damian’s making me wonder who it is that has approached us.
“I’m going to need a few minutes alone with him. Lucas, I need you to have the rest of the group follow you inside to the third floor. Have Dom bring up the rear. I want silence. Not a word or sound as they pass by or they will all see the consequences of one person’s disrespect.”
“Yes sir.”
My fight eases a little as the alpha’s son steps away and heads back towards the group.
“Cole, I know you just met me so there is no trust but I need you to follow my directions exactly. I’m going to coach you through a breathing technique that will help you to relax. As you relax you will feel me easing up on your arms.”
I nod my head, agreeing to his offer as I’m completely lost and out of control.
“First I want you to take a quick but deep breath in then just as quickly push it out. Just throw it away. I want three of these. Then I’ll move to three much slower ones. Ready.”
I nod to show I understand his instructions.
“All right, in quick, now throw it away.”
I follow his lead and take a quick sharp breath before letting it out almost as quickly. It’s as I’m breathing in on my third one that he speaks again.
“I want you to follow my voice as I’m going to tell you what to do. Well done. Now in...2....3....4... and out 2...3...4... again in 2...3...4... and out 2...3...4... again,”
It’s as I’m going through the third one that I feel Alpha’s grip change on me. Even though it’s still there, it’s much gentler, even soothing as I feel his thumbs gently rubbing the backs of both hands. He lets me take a few more breaths on my own before speaking.
“I can already tell that you’re very submissive so I do understand this is a struggle for you but I need you to look at me. Make eye contact with me before I let your arms go.”
I slowly open my eyes while I’m still looking down. It’s not the first time I’ve been directly told to make eye contact with an alpha. My father does it all the time. The struggle is, my father commands me to do it then turns around and punishes me for the fear he sees in my eyes.
I squeeze my eyes shut again as the memories of my last encounter with my dad creep in and repeat the exercise the alpha just went through with me.
“Cole,”
Alpha Black speaks the quietest that I have ever heard an alpha speak to me.
“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. Will you talk with me?”
I shake my head as I fight the flashback away, slowly opening my eyes again. I raise my head making eye contact as he requested but I can’t keep it.
“I’m sorry alpha.”
I whisper as I close my eyes and turn away, waiting for punishment to follow. Every alpha that has ever been this hands on with me has always brought me pain. I know he can feel my tremors as I hear him sigh.
“Okay Cole. Let’s get you inside. Perhaps it will be a little more comfortable to talk if it’s not so direct.”
I barely whisper a thank you as I feel his hands leave my wrists. Opening my eyes, I look around me for a sense of direction. It’s when I briefly meet Alpha Damian’s gaze that I get the information I need. With a slight gesture of his hand he points me towards the trainee housing, following behind me as I head in that direction.
(Demetri’s POV)
I’m deep in thought as my son and I follow this young man to the trainee housing. It’s been fifteen years since I inherited the pack. It’s quite uncommon for the pack to be passed on like that unless the ruling alpha dies in battle while his kids are still kids. Then it becomes the oldest child’s responsibility to assume power over the pack. Neither of those things happened with me and the pack. I know finding out I was an intuitive had something to do with dad’s decision to pass the pack down to me.
I’m the youngest of four. My older brothers and sister somehow didn’t share the same vision for the Crimson Dawn pack as my father. It was finding my abused mate at eighteen that ultimately changed my ideas on maintaining a sanctuary for those in need. I’ve only been the alpha for fifteen years, small change for most alphas. Damian was only three and Lucas just over a year when dad passed in his sleep. It may take a lot to kill a werewolf without a silver bullet to the heart but we’re not invincible and we do age.
Dad had been slowing down for a while and I had taken on more and more of his duties. When the Moon Goddess finally called him home it was supposed to be a seamless transition for the pack. Needless to say, it wasn’t. Mom left to join him just a few years later.
Like most alphas, I try to maintain two separate reputations for my pack. A zero tolerance for unannounced wolves in my territory. Like all alphas, I like to keep that rumor as hard core as possible. You come onto my land unannounced and you will never be seen again type stuff. But those who truly know me understand that I know the difference between a troubled wolf and a troublemaker. Those with this inside knowledge will often recommend my pack as a temporary sanctuary until things get ironed out for a transfer into another pack. Some have even chosen to join my pack as permanent members.
It’s the tug from Damian on my link that bring my thoughts back to the present situation.
‘What’s going on with him? He told me on the bus that he wasn’t new to this and he’s older. Twenty-three I think he said. He started struggling with his anxiety before he got off the bus.’
‘I don’t want to jump to any conclusions as he just got here and it is possible that he just has severe anxiety.’
‘But you suspect something else?’
‘Yes. I suspect abuse may be in his past but the bigger concern is if abuse is in his present.’
‘I thought abuse stopped once the child becomes an adult.’
‘Unfortunately that only happens if the child is able to find a way out of the situation. If this is indeed Alpha Redmen’s son then getting away from Red Fang without going rogue or killing whoever is abusing him, would be extremely difficult. It’s not like here where once you turn twenty-one you can request a transfer or a female that can leave for her mate’s pack.’
‘So he’s using the warrior program as a way out?’
‘Possibly.’
I end the link with my son as we enter the apartment complex. Cole has stopped about five feet inside the door allowing us enough room to enter. He seems confused and highly agitated.
“Cole.”
Even with my voice calm and level just hearing it makes the young man startle badly.
“I failed to ask you if you were against being separated from your pack mates. It’s entirely up to you.”
“I’ve only got one real friend so I’m not that much part of the group.”
“I didn’t think so. Come this way.”
I gesture to my right as we start making our way to the row of doors located on the eastern side of the complex.
Chapter 8
(Cole’s POV)
I follow behind Alpha Demetri and his son a short way across the main hall on the first floor. They stop at the first door they come to, the numbers 101A are screwed into the center. I stop a few feet from them as I have a preference for keeping my distance from everyone. I only get close to those I’ve observed for a while and I have a motive for learning from them.
I can hear a short beep briefly before the sound of the door unlocking. Alpha pushes down on the handle and allows the door to swing open before looking back at me and encouraging me to enter.
I move cautiously as I have never been beaten this badly by my dad before going to another pack’s territory. I would think the risk of another alpha discovering my secret relationship with my father would have been too high for him to be so careless. Yet the beatings have only gotten worse with each pack he’s sent me off to. Combine denying me my medication with the hardship of hiding my injuries and he’s making it easier for them to discover the abuse I’m suffering much sooner. I’m certain that this alpha has already figured out that I’m being abused and I’ve barely been here an hour. It’s become clear to me that he’s using the warrior program as a new way to abuse me. I can’t think of how many times he’s told me that I’m too weak for any alpha to accept into a second run and it seems like every time I come back I have to deal with the council poking around. He will refrain from abusing me while they’re there but the moment they leave I’m chained up and beaten three to four times a week until he decides to send me on another run. So it’s not difficult for me to go pack when my dad tells me to, that I'm going to whatever pack he decides is next for me in the line up. I need to get away from him just as badly as he hates seeing my face in his territory.
I step inside the room several feet, completely neglecting to even search for the light. It’s as I place the pack I’m wearing on the bed that I’m startled by the light being flipped on. I turn quickly to see that Alpha and his son have stepped inside the room with me. The alpha gives me a smile but says nothing. It seems he’s started observing again. I turn and start moving slowly around the room taking in everything.
“Would it be okay if I put your wet clothes in the washer?”
Alpha Damian asks, causing me to freeze and look at him. He lets out a nervous chuckle as I study him with my head cocked to one side.
“It seems like you haven’t been met with much kindness.”
I let out a slight hum as I run my hand nervously over the left side of my head.
“Not from alphas.” I speak quietly. “Yes. I would appreciate that. You said you stock soap and other stuff like that?”
“Yes, I’ll show you where it’s at once you’ve explored a bit.”
I nod my head as Alpha Damian makes his way over to a large closet at the back corner of the room. I watch him open it up revealing a full size washer and dryer stacked inside.
“I’m going to run this through a quick rinse cycle before you do a full wash.”
I nod again with a quiet thanks. Exploring the large room has taken my mind off the events that had just happened and it seems like the alpha has picked up on my calmed demeanor.
“Cole, it’s very important that you tell me the truth. I promise you nothing you tell me will result in you being removed from my first run. The only things that I will remove you for is if you steal, fight, rape, take recreational drugs or drink until you're stupid. I don’t tolerate any of those things. So, are you usually on medication for your anxiety?”
I freeze in the doorway of the bathroom.
“Yes sir.”
I speak quietly, ashamed to admit that I have an issue.
“It’s not something to be ashamed of but it’s important that I know what you're on and the dosage.”
I shake my head slowly before I speak again.
“I’ve been on several different combinations of medications over the last several years. Dr. Carter tends to change the combination every time my dad forces me off of them, trying to figure out the combination with the least amount of side effects. The last set of three with either Xanax or Valium to help me at night on the really rough days I did really well on. Minimal side effects compared to other combinations and I wasn’t a zombie or felt like I was drugged. I was actually close to....”
My thoughts wander off track as I walk around the rest of the room.
“You felt close to normal?”
Alpha finishes for me. I nod my head in agreement as we continue to talk.
“How long have you been off of it?”
“Three, almost four months. My dad has been getting more persistent at blocking all my efforts to get to it while I’m home.”
“He doesn’t want you on medication?”
“No. He says taking medication is an admittance to weakness and he refuses to tolerate any shows of weakness from his son.”
“Do you know what you were taking?”
I sigh as I shake my head.
“Are you able to find phone numbers of doctors at different hospitals?”
This time it’s the alpha looking at me with a cocked head. I can’t help but return the curious look while waiting for his response.
“I should have enough connections to dig up a doctor. Do you have a name?”
“Carter. Dr. Alexander Carter at Red General. He’ll likely recommend a different combination as the biggest trouble I seem to have is eating while on them.”
“Thank you.”
He gives me a smile and a nod.
“Will you tell me why you’re on this medication?”
He asks slowly the one question I don’t want to answer. I shake my head slowly
“I’m sorry Alpha, I can’t. I don’t expect you to understand but I can’t. I just can’t.”
“I didn’t think you would. Trust is an easy thing to lose but hard to gain. Hopefully, in time, you’ll be able to see me for who I am and change your mind. My door is always open.”
I nod my head in silent thanks waiting for the next thing to come.
“It’s getting late so how about we get you out here to the table of food. Take all you want as you have a larger apartment sized fridge in here you can store food and drinks in. We have bags of ice in the dining hall by the main pack house. You can grab one at dinner tomorrow and bring it back. We also have disposable cups, plates and plastic utensils you can bring back too. Cleaning supplies are in the walk-in closet next to the stairs. Personal necessities are in the walk-in closet on the opposite side. Don’t hesitate to grab what you need. If there is something specific that you need let me or one of the trainers know and we’ll try to get it for you. Damian and Dominic will be here at seven to lead everyone over to the pack house for breakfast. They will do this everyday this week then you’ll be on your own. Expectation is that you are showered and ready to start training when you get there although when this place gets full I do have some prospects who choose to switch to evening showers over morning. I’ll come get you at breakfast so get your food, take your time eating, when you’re done you’re going to meet with me in my office. I’m going to have my lead doctor in the medical wing join us with the phone call to Dr. Carter. I’m putting you back on your meds while you're here. There’s no reason for you to suffer like this.”
Chapter 9
I nod quietly again yet against my better judgment I ask the question I think I know the answer to.
“What happens to prospects that have a major mental health issue, like ptsd?”
“It depends a lot on how stable the individual is and why they have it. A lot of wolves have ptsd from battles where they witnessed pack mates killed or they were severely injured. It can have a lasting effect but with therapy and proper medication the council will allow them to return.”
“Oh.”
“Not the answer you thought?”
I shake my head as I follow them out the door to where the food is set out. No one is down here yet which is a relief for me.
“Are you good on your own now?”
I look at the alpha before nodding my head.
“Thank you Alpha.”
“For what?”
“For your kindness.”
He gives me a smile before placing his hand on my shoulder. For the first time that night I manage to keep myself from pulling away or jumping out of my skin.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Cole. We will talk more in the morning.”
I quickly finish my third trip out to the table as the rest of the pack has started coming downstairs to eat. I can already hear several of them complaining about the special treatment I seem to be getting over recognizing that they brought this on to themselves.
I was grateful that I had discovered a small table with a chair just inside the door to my room as this is where I ended up putting all the food and drinks that I picked up from the table. I had walked with Alpha and his son down the hall to the closet before heading to the table so I was able to get all the laundry supplies I needed before grabbing dinner.
I feel guilty as I look at the plates of food and a dozen or so drinks sitting on the table. I know I won’t eat all this food tonight. Between my father actively denying me access to food and him keeping me in a constant state of pain and panic I’ve gotten used to eating very little.
I sit at the table and turn on the television, picking lightly at the food in front of me, I surf through the channels. I have always found it interesting to encounter packs that have started to embrace human inventions like the television, internet, and cell phones. I guess with a lot of the larger packs now having major hospitals on their land with wolves that aren’t members working there the use of cell phones became a necessity since not all the wolves have a link with the pack. I set my sights on the human’s strong man contest. I’ve always found it interesting how human men had the desire to prove their strength by donning a harness like a dog and pulling a bus several yards with only the help of a rope to pull on.
I finally give up grazing on the food I brought into my room shortly after I started. My anxiety is still extremely high and I’m finding it difficult to eat. I’m not used to a pack’s alpha getting so invested and hands on with the prospects so early.
I take the cling wrap I found in the closet and carefully dismantle the sandwiches of the lettuce, tomato and onion so the bread doesn’t get soggy before wrapping each one and placing it in the fridge, doing the same for the condiments and drinks. I wipe the table down with the paper towels and multi purpose cleaner that were also in the closet before heading to the washer and placing my clothes in the dryer. I started taking care of my own needs when I was fifteen, so keeping my own space clean is second nature to me now.
I explore the room a little more and discover a walk-in closet with hangers already inside it. I grab a handful of those and place them on the table to use once my clothes are dry. The tv is on top of a long dresser situated against the wall across from the foot of the bed, that’s where I head next.
I open each drawer taking in the approximate size so as to best plan my use of space. I head into the bathroom next. The bathroom floor is a neutral beige colored stone like tile compared to the black carpeting in the rest of the room. There’s a combination tub and shower against the far wall, a large vanity with a larger single sink and a large cabinet with a mirror on the wall. I open the cabinet to find that it’s already stocked with a small amount of personal items. It’s only when I go to throw them away that I discover that every item is unopened. I’m impressed that they thought to stock it like this as I put the items back.
Beside the vanity appears to be a tall slender cabinet only about a foot wide with a long door on bottom and a shorter door on top. When I open the bottom door I find a single shelf stacked with towels while below the shelf, on the floor is a small vacuum, a bucket and a mop. The only thing missing is the soap. Opening the top cabinet reveals washcloths and hand towels. Once again, everything appears to be new. Not liking the idea of my towels being in with cleaning supplies, I rearrange the upper cabinet to accommodate all of the bathroom linens.
Pushing the shower curtain back I find unopened shampoo, conditioner and a bar of soap with an unrolled bath mat sitting in the corner. It seems like they have thought of everything in this pack. I don’t even feel like I have to unpack the stuff I brought with me. I do anyway as I don’t believe in being wasteful.
I unload my two backpacks of my personal items, finding a logical place for each item before folding my packs and putting them in the closet. I sigh heavily with the realization that my bag had been gone through and what little asthma medication I had left was removed before my bags made it to the bus.
As soon as the dryer is done I take my clothes to the table where I fold everything neatly and hang my shirts before putting everything away. I gently take my shirt off and toss it in the washer before climbing into the full size bed. It’s been an exhausting day of traveling and despite my constant pain from the beating I got Saturday night, it doesn’t take long for me to drift to sleep.
Chapter 10
(Content Warning)
(8 year old Cole POV)
I yelp as I’m awakened by a sharp blow to the back of my neck. Before I can fully process what’s going on I receive a harsh slap across my face. I grab the side of my face, gently rubbing away the sting as my eyes well up in tears. I yelp again as my mom starts yelling at me.
“What are you doing sleeping before dinner? There’s too much you need to get done before you go to bed and you know it.”
I try to back away from her as she’s only inches from my face. Unfortunately this show of fear earns me another hard slap across my face before she grabs me by the back of my neck and drags me out of my chair.
‘Fuck! Not the submission hold. Anything but that.’
I think silently. But it is. She forces me to my feet as I try to fight against going to my father’s office, the place of nightmares for me. My fight gets worse, crying and begging my mom not to leave me with him but as always my pleas fall upon deaf ears. She opens his door to find him on the phone. I get shoved harshly down into a chair, I know better than to run away.
“What has he done now?”
Father asks with a sadistic smile on his face as he hangs up the phone.
“His teacher called asking questions as to why he was sleeping instead of eating lunch and I caught him just now sleeping instead of doing homework.”
I try to reason with them even though I know it’s useless.
“I’m allowed to sleep during lunch and my homework is done.”
“Silence!”
They yell in unison as I cringe farther back into the plush armchair. My eyes are quickly darting between the two of them as they discuss what the punishment will be for sleeping in school and before bedtime. The problem is, they’re in a link so as not to share the sadistic punishment I’m in store for.
I can tell by the darkening of my father’s eyes that he was going to take his frustration out on me which means this isn’t going to be a simple bare bottom belting. No, this was bound to be much worse and I can’t stop myself from shaking and whimpering in fear.
“Mommy please don’t leave me.”
I whisper as she walks by, tears again in my eyes. She doesn’t so much as glance my way giving me a nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“So, what had you up so late that you can’t stay awake in school?”
His voice is low, growling out every word as he walks toward the cabinet holding his favorite belt.
“Daddy, please.” I whisper, “you know I was with you until eleven last night. I always go to bed at eight, nine at the latest.”
“You liar! You know no such thing happened! You were sent to bed and simply didn’t go! Put your arms straight out in front of you! Stand up!”
I’m whimpering badly as I try to stand but I’m shaking so bad that I fall the first time I try.
“Stand up!”
He yells again, making me yelp in fear. I finally stand with my arms out in front of me and he doesn’t hesitate to bring the thick leather belt down hard across both my hands.
“How dare you lie.”
“Daddy, please. I wouldn’t.”
I yelp as another crack of the belt lands across my hands. Fear gets the best of me and I pull my hands away as he swings a third time hitting the floor.
“You insolent little pup! Put your hands up!”
I raise my arms again, shaking uncontrollably as he brings the buckle side of the belt down upon my wrists. I jump back away from him as I cry out in pain bringing my hands to my chest infuriating him more. He swings the belt again only this time he strikes me at the back of my knees causing me to collapse into his desk hitting the side of my head. I stay on all fours as my head spins from the hit and my vision is blurred from my tears.
“Get your ass up! Get your arms across the desk!”
He yells, grabbing the back of my shirt and lifting me to my feet. He shoves me against the edge of the desk making me gasp. He grabs both my arms and stretches them harshly across the desk. I just barely gain my footing when the belt comes down across my hands again. I scream as the heavy metal buckle hits my left wrist. He’s now hitting harder and faster than before, the metal buckle hitting the same spot on my wrist repeatedly.
When I finally get some sense back to me, I pull my arms back, cradling my left against my body. I can feel my wrist is already starting to swell from the brutal hits it's receiving and the smell of blood from the cuts the buckle creates as it hits my tender skin. My cries are hysterical as I beg him to stop but there is never any stopping him.
He grabs my neck before reaching for my hands and pulling them out again. He shoves me harshly against the desk again as he slams my head into the hardwood. It’s as my head is spinning from another hard blow that he starts again.
Repeatedly, the blows land across my wrists with the heavy buckle landing hard in the same place. A sudden pop in my wrist sends a wave of sharp pain through my arm resulting in my blood curdling scream echoing through the room. I collapsed to the floor, screaming in pain as I know he’s broken my wrist for the second time this school year.
“You’re weak! This is nothing compared to battle! Get up and take your clothes off!”
I try to stand on legs that barely support me. My hands are swollen from the relentless hits and my left is worse than my right. It’s a struggle to undo the button on my jeans with my right hand, considering I’m left handed, and I know I’m not moving fast enough when I feel the buckle come down hard against my neck.
I yelp in pain as I blindly fumble with the button on my jeans. It’s after the third hit to my neck that it finally comes free allowing me to take them off followed by my shirt and boxers. I’m shaking and crying uncontrollably, begging him to stop as I have no understanding as to why he’s being so brutal.
He grabs my now naked body by the neck causing me to scream from the cuts and bruises left by the belt buckle as he forces me towards his desk. I struggle, yelp and scream for someone to help me but all it does it cause dad to slam my head into the desk again. This time I’m choking on my own blood as it fills my mouth. He lays his body over mine, pinning me to the desk as he leans over the side to grab the leather straps he’s bolted to the underside of it. He stretches my swollen and battered arms out again, roughly tying them to the desk as I frantically scream in agony.
As soon as I’m tied to the desk the beating and tirade of mental abuse starts again. I scream with every hit as the buckle digs into my back, butt and thighs. I can feel the blood as it slides down my legs causing me to squirm and kick desperate to rid myself of the disgusting, crawling feeling. But dad gets too close and ends up kicked in the thigh. A maniacal laugh soon comes from his mouth as the beating with the belt stops.
“So we want to kick now? I’ll give you something to kick at.”
I’m panting hard trying to catch my breath as best I can when I feel him behind me. He grabs my thighs painfully hard as he lifts me off the floor spreading my legs unusually wide.
“You get what you give, son.”
Within seconds his knee makes a powerfully hard impact into my groin. I try to scream but I have no breath to scream with. Within seconds a second followed by a third and fourth hit to the same area occurs leaving me unable to breathe let alone function. It’s only as mom speaks that I even know someone has entered the room but he doesn’t stop immediately upon her entrance. My delicate body parts have been smashed repeatedly into my intestines close to a dozen times by the time I hear her.
“Charles, what the hell? This isn’t what we agreed to. He's already missed enough school for them to suspect something going on. You can’t keep getting carried away like this. He’ll be out at least a month after this.”
“He kicked me.”
“So. He’s chained to the fucking desk.”
I hear him sigh and I can only hope that it’s finally over. He grabs me again, lifting me up part way. This time when he knees me in the groin not only does he smash my body parts into my intestines but just below my ribs hits the edge of the table. It’s when he does it a second time that I violently start vomiting all over his desk shortly before passing out from the excruciating pain.