Chapter 3

When I returned home, Elodie still sat in the main hall. Our parents were there too.

When they saw me, Mother spoke first. "Tamsin, where did you go?"

"The Sacred Cavern."

Mother froze. "You..."

"I went to ask Elder Torin about the rules for the Lunar Seer consecration." I sat down in a chair and looked at them. "Tomorrow is the ceremony. I wanted to understand clearly."

Father drew on his pipe and said nothing.

Elodie lifted her head, her eyes still red. "Tamsin..."

"Sister," I called to her. "You said in the beginning that you would volunteer to stay behind as the Lunar Seer and let me go to the Citadel. Those were your words, correct?"

Elodie's fingers tightened. "Yes, but..."

"There is no but," I said. "You said it, and I remembered. Because of those words, I yielded everything to you. Mother and Father yielded to you. Whatever you wanted, the family found a way to give it to you."

My voice remained even. "You said you would give me the way out. I was afraid of failing you."

The hall fell silent for a moment.

"But Sister," I said, "what are you trading that promise for now? Trading it so Soren would come take you away?"

Elodie's eyes reddened and tears fell. "That was not my intention. I did not scheme against you. Soren and I just..."

"Just what?"

She choked out, "We just got along well, and he also thought I was pitiable..."

Mother wiped her eyes beside us. "Tamsin, your sister has suffered too. She has known since childhood that she might have to stay here. You should understand her situation..."

I looked at Mother. "What about me?"

Mother froze.

"I have known since childhood that if I was the one who stayed, I would never get out," I said. "I understand her. Who understands me?"

No one spoke.

Father snuffed out his pipe and spoke, his voice muffled. "Tamsin, this matter is your mother's and my fault, not your sister's fault."

"We were the ones who contacted Soren."

I froze. "What?"

Father sighed. "Your sister's health is weak. These past two years it has gotten worse. We were afraid if she stayed in the pack territory..." He could not continue and paused. "We contacted Soren and begged him to come take your sister away."

"If we were going to beg him to come, we had to give him a reason."

"So we told him Elodie was pitiable and asked him to claim her as his mate." Mother lowered her head.

"You had been bonded with him for three years. He is someone who values bonds, so it was difficult to ask him directly. We told him you earned your place at the Citadel, that you could make your own way out, and only your sister had no way to leave..."

I sat there and went through these words from beginning to end in my mind.

Then I laughed once.

"So," I said, "the three of you schemed against me alone."

Father raised his head. "Tamsin—"

"It was not scheming," Mother rushed to explain. "We truly had no other choice. If your sister stayed here, she..."

"What if I stayed here instead?"

Mother stopped.

"Mother," I said. "If I were the one staying behind, would you work so hard to find a way out for me?"

When I asked that question, the hall became as silent as stagnant water.

No one answered me.

I did not need an answer anymore. Some things, the moment you ask them aloud, you already know the answer.

I stood up. "I will participate in tomorrow's consecration ceremony."

Mother shot to her feet. "You cannot go! You earned your place at the Citadel. You have your future—"

"My future is not something you need to worry about," I said. "I fulfilled the promise with my sister. Now that she has taken back that promise, I should give her this way out."

"Tamsin!"

I said nothing more and turned toward my room.

Behind me, Elodie suddenly said, "Tamsin, I am sorry."

My steps paused. I did not turn around.

"You are not sorry to me," I said. "You just regret that this plan did not stay hidden from me."

I pushed open my door and closed it behind me, leaned my back against the door, and tilted my head to look at the ceiling in the darkness.

My mind was chaotic yet clear. Chaotic with all the emotions accumulated over these years that had nowhere to go.

Clear that starting today, some things could finally be let go.