Chapter 4

I stayed crouched on the floor, crying until my whole body shook. I cried until the night faded and the sky slowly began to brighten.

When I was too tired to cry anymore, I buried myself under the blanket. I turned off my phone and pulled the curtains shut, letting the room fall into complete darkness.

I took a week off work and didn’t tell anyone why.

During those days, I didn’t eat a single meal. I didn’t step outside the door even once. Only when I was extremely thirsty did I crawl out of bed to drink a mouthful of cold water.

My stomach was empty. Hunger made my limbs weak. But the emptiness in my heart could not be filled at all.

On the fifth evening, the sunset outside slipped through a gap in the curtains and fell onto the floor.

I stared at that strip of light for a long time. Suddenly, I felt there was no need to punish myself like this anymore.

Slowly, I got up and walked into the bathroom. The person in the mirror looked terrible. My face was pale. Dark circles hung under my eyes. My lips were dry and cracked. I looked completely worn out.

I turned on the hot water and took a long shower. Then I took out my makeup and carefully put it on.

I drew my eyebrows. I added eyeshadow. I put on a bright red lipstick.

Looking at myself in the mirror, seeing a bit of life return to my face, I suddenly smiled. I changed into a beautiful dress, put on high heels, and walked out of the house.

I went to a small private restaurant I had been craving for a long time. I pushed the door open and ordered all my favorite dishes.

Steaming pork ribs. Crispy, spicy chicken. When the sweet and sour flavor of the ribs spread across my tongue, my eyes felt warm—but not because I was sad.

It was because I suddenly understood something. Compared to good food, Samuel really meant nothing. The false sweetness he gave me was far less real than a plate of juicy ribs.

After eating my fill, my stomach felt warm, and even my mood improved. I paid the bill and walked slowly along the street. The night wind brushed my face with a slight chill.

When I passed the hospital, I slowed down. After a moment of thought, I walked inside.

The nurse on duty saw me and smiled. “Zee, didn’t you take leave? Why are you here?”

I smiled back. I was about to say I came to resign, but she lowered her voice first.

“Don’t you know? Our department's chief just decided. The permanent position went to Alenna—the girl who joined last week.”

I froze for a moment, then understood.

Of course. I had turned off my phone and stayed home all week. I wouldn’t know these things.

I didn’t feel much at all. Not even surprised. It felt like I had already expected this ending.

I pulled the corner of my lips into a small smile. “I see. Thank you. I’m actually here to resign.”

Before, when I walked through this building, I only thought about becoming permanent. I dreamed of standing publicly beside Samuel. But standing here now, I only felt light.

The resignation process went smoothly. After signing the last paper, I placed my work badge on the desk and walked out of the hospital.

The moment I stepped outside, I let out a long breath, as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I didn’t go home. Instead, I bought a plane ticket to the southern part of the city for three days later. After everything was done, I finally called my parents and told them about quitting my job and traveling.

On the other end of the phone, my parents were silent for a few seconds before they burst into happy cheers.

During my secret relationship with Samuel this past year, I lived carefully and anxiously. I gave all my time and energy to Samuel.

And I forgot that the people I should have been spending that time with were my parents.

After I hung up the call with my parents, I hummed a song on my way home.

I started packing my luggage, searching through drawers and boxes. Everything related to Samuel, I threw it all into the trash. I cleaned it out completely without hesitation.

Three days later, I pulled my suitcase downstairs with my parents. We were heading to the airport. Just as we reached the gate of our apartment complex, a familiar figure suddenly blocked our way.

It was Samuel.

Dark circles hung under his eyes. His hair was messy. He looked tired and worn out. When he saw my suitcase, his eyes widened.

“Where are you going? Why did you quit your job? Why didn’t you reply to my messages?”